30 June 2005

Tons-of-Fun Rage

I am jumping straight into this one....

Why do I hate her? Oh, many reasons, but one jumps into my head right away.

When she reads something funny she laughs loud and waits for you to ask what is so funny. If you dont ask she laughs even louder and sometimes says "That is so funny." She waits again for you to ask. If, like me you have chosen to make this as fucking difficult as possible, she will say something like "I hope I am not bothering you...this just made me laugh. Wow...what a good laugh. Man, fuuuunnnnny" and so forth. I refuse to respond to this shit. Grow a sack and fucking tell me what is funny. Or dont, I dont really give a shit.

Tons-of-Fun does the same thing when she doesnt like a cd that my co-worker has picked.

Tons-of-Fun: What is this we are listening too??
Co-Worker: Tom Waits
ToF: Is this song playing at half speed or something?
Co-Worker: It's Tom Waits...it sounds fine
ToF: Are those words coming from his mouth? I mean like actual words?
Bird From Next Room: Are you trying to say you dont like it and would like to put in something else? Cuz if that is what you want to do then you should say that instead of making these vague comments.
ToF: No, it is fine I dont want to be a pain in the ass
Co-Worker: Too late

Why do people do that? Why do they want you to ask, "what is funny?" "what did johnny do?" "What happened at the old quarry?" Why cant people just say...oh once at the quarry... Is it insecurity or just a really fucking annoying conversation style? I refuse to play along with this shit anylonger! Refuse! You hear that? I got something else for you tons-of-fun.....Swingin' (points at crotch)

Tons-of-Fun: It feels kinda hot in here
Bird and Co-Worker: .........................
ToF: Are you guys hot?
Bird: .......
Co-Worker: No
ToF: Really, I am really hot. Man, it is kinda stuffy too. I am stuffy.
Bird and Co-Worker: ...........
ToF: Do you guys think it is stuffy?
Bird: Are you asking if you can turn on the air conditioning because you should just ask that.
ToF: Um.......

Fuck you Tons-of-Fun. You are going on my shit list. The list of people that I will shit on when given the opportunity. If I was a chimp I would throw my shit at you ToF. Then I would laugh and do that bouncy point crazy laugh thing that they do. You've seen that before right?

I am past the point of being polite. You werent supposed to stay long and yet...you have returned. We were so happy, I drank to your last day and now...here you are Tons-of-Fun. Here you are.

Fuck you.


Anonymous said...

I love you, Bird!
scoot or slim
(which one am I???)

Anonymous said...

Dude, I'd like to see you throw your shit at someone and then bounce around like a chimp!

Good stuff, man....