29 August 2007

Leave Me Alone

Please god, just let me be. I dont have answers for you...and if I do, I dont care to share them.

Jesus, who the fuck do you think I am?

28 August 2007


Two things...

1. My underwear was made in Israel.

2. I just got an email from "my old high school friend" Juan McGee. Ahh, Juan McGee, the scottish mexican living in Colorado. I suppose it isnt any stranger then the Russian Hispanic Jewish guy that Q works for. Hello there Unique...

27 August 2007

A Recommendation

Observatory Mansions

You most likely know that I am obsessed with lists. I have scores of lists in most of my journals; they cover pages of half-filled notebooks purchased just so i could jot down words. Just words.

I like Sports Center's Top Ten, McSweeney's Lists...I even watched one of those VH1's top 100 songs of the 80's lists on tv yesterday (in all fairness, I spent all day in the harsh glow of the idiot box so i cant really be held responsible for what I was exposed to.)

The point is, Observatory Mansions is right in my wheelhouse. It is very
quixotic and beautiful, strange and creepy. I am on my second pass and really had to recommend it.

Hope your monday is just swell...


24 August 2007



Now give me a goddamn beer.

23 August 2007


I just sent an email hoping to get a Zamboni Driver job.


I am a supreme long shot but I also love rejection so either way it is a win-win.

Why Archaeology Sucks

"Field conditions will be harsh due to the high daytime temperatures which will range from 100 to 110 degrees. The work schedule will be 8 ten-hour days of fieldwork with six days off within a two-week pay period."

Pay for this project? $10.00 to 14.00 Commensurate with Experience.

Um...can anyone say Norma Rae?

On the other hand, my two degrees did allow me to breeze through this Archaeology Quiz on msn.com

21 August 2007

Michael Vick

This morning all the radio sports guys are talking about Michael Vick working a plea in the dogfighting fiasco. On our local station, 950 the Fan, someone asked why people were so upset about Vick when Leonard Little was still playing in the NFL. Little was blottoed and crashed into another car killing the driver. He served his time and six years later was pulled over again for a DUI. The Fan listener, while not condoning Vick's behavior, was muffed that people were more upset about a dog than a human.

Moser and Clough, the talking heads in the morning, were trying to urge the listener to take these as two separate incidents. However, i think the factor that makes these different is the intent. Since pleading quilty Michael Vick has said, through his attorneys, that he has made mistakes. That isnt really true. Leonard Little made a mistake. He was stupid and arrogant for driving drunk but he didnt intend to kill anyone. Michael Vick didnt make a mistake. He knew exactly what he was doing...training dogs to fight. He knew exactly what the outcome was for dogs that didnt do well...hanging, beating, electrocution--simply put, death.

The intent behind having a beer and thinking, "it wont happen to me" is worlds away from the intent behind Michael Vicks actions. I for one hope that Vick is done with the NFL forever. The guy is obviously a complete douche...that being said, he would fit right in at Oakland....Zing~

This is the stupidest thing I have heard in awhile, "White also said he didn't understand the uproar over dogfighting, when hunting deer and other animals is perfectly acceptable." If you cant see the difference between the two then you need a solid swap upside the head. The Vick issue isnt about race. In fact, if he had been a white guy he would have been branded a backwoods redneck. Black or white, what Vick did was a wrong and cruel.

19 August 2007

Sunday TV Wisdom

"Love is the secret map to your treasure called wisdom"

"Blood Diamonds"

17 August 2007

Happy Birthday

The Compact Disc was first mass produced 25 years ago in Germany. Those crazy Germans, no one will ever replace all their cassette tapes!

I am sure that the first cd i ever purchased was from that BMG music club. I was so totally into that. Signing up under multiple names just to get the initial 12 discs for the price of one deal. I was buying classical cd's at the time because that is how lame of a teenager i was. I remember buying elvis costello and a grateful dead collection as well as a beatles best of. I kind of wish I was more forward thinking so that I would have maybe jotted it down in a diary or something. Sadly, most of my middle/highschool stuff was chucked when my pops up and moved the summer i was riding around on the bus. I am sure if I had noted my first ever cd purchase it would have been thrown away with the rest of my childhood memories. Ah well, that is a story for a different day.

Happy Friday everyone!


16 August 2007


Max Roach is dead.

Bummer indeed.

Roach played with every solid jazz player out there.

Listen to Birth Of The Cool in memory.

15 August 2007

The Madness

Sklimps turned me onto the insanity that is Jonathan Lee Riches, a South Carolina prisoner bringing various lawsuits agains Michael Vick among others (Three Mile Island, Tony Danza, Islamic Republic of Iran, University of Miami, GEICO Insurance, Jewish State of Israel, Soledad O'Brien, Tsunami victims, The American Red Cross, Jessica Alba, Charles Moose, al-Qaida Islamic Arm,Fruit of A-Loom [sic], Outback Steakhouse, Donald J. Trump, Chris Berman.)

There is another lawsuit, asking for $211,429,399,000,000.00 backed by gold and silver and delivered by UPS to the prison, that claims that Larry King, "is a voodoo witch doctor who stole my identity on Feb 25th 2003 and purchased lead paint, chip ahoy, Planters peanuts and zip lock bags under my identity. Distributed them to the CIA to microwave test my DNA"


What can you say to that eh?

13 August 2007

Why Are You So Fowl This Morning...

I am always fowl, thank you for asking. It is my very nature...

Seriously though, somebody has a case of the monday's. Does it mean something that I am grouchy and angry at the beginning of every single week? I believe it does.

I have to learn to get out of this funk. I had a nice weekend; I forced Q to watch Clue which I know he was grateful for. I had some beers so, you cant go wrong there. I tried to pester my brother which is always a good time. I had some free iced-tea and listened to some horrible music. I met a fellow shovel bum who found a way out and seemed interested in helping me out too...really what do I have to complain about?

I am being a whinny bitch and i really must get over it.

10 August 2007

Blast From the Past

A big hello and how's your mother to my old college chum! I have yet to come up with a witty nickname for you so for now you shall be He Who Is Unnamed, yeah...all bold and stuff too.

09 August 2007


I am so proud to be an alumni of UNC.

And I hear it stills smells like cow shit and burning blood!

Yay Greeley!

08 August 2007

Launch Day

The shuttle Endeavour launches today at 6:36 p.m. EDT.

If you are interested in watching the launch you can do so on "NASA TV"

I also suggest the Launch Blog. It provides all kinds of information about what is going on before the actual launch. For example, right now the STS-118 crew members are having the technicians help them climb into their orange launch-and-entry suits---So there you go.

Yay Space!

1:02 NASA hauls the astronauts from the staging area to the launch pad in an Airstream trailer. Science!

1:24 The astronauts are getting strapped in. None of them look drunk to me.

1:37 Barbara Morgan is on this flight. She was the back up teacher slated for the Challenger flight. After NASA stopped the Teachers in Space program she went back to teaching. In 1998 she joined NASA and began training to be a bonafide astronuat.

1:47 So they just have to sit there inverted for the next ~3 hours. What do they do if they have to pee? Seriously, i wonder about that...

3:00 The door wont shut. Im no rocket scientist but I think that it doesnt work unless the door shuts.

3:30 Must have gotten some WD-40 out because the hatch is shut now...

4:12 Just in the middle of the T-9 minute hold which lasts for 45min. Can anyone explain that kind of logic to me? Check out this crazy shite though, "Today's launch window opens at 6:32:52 p.m. and closes at 6:43:46 p.m., and the preferred launch time comes in the middle of the window at 6:36:42 p.m." Can you believe how short that window is? Goddamn I say goddamn!

4:26 10min and counting.

4:33 The tower is pulling away from the shuttle...3min 30sec

4:35 The oxygen vent is pulling away...the little cap that I thought always held up the shuttle, to keep it from tipping over. Turns out I was wrong.

4:35 1min 30sec to go, my clock is off

4:36 holy crap!

4:37 One minute in and the shuttle is going 2000 miles an hour.

4:40 At 2.25 the shuttle is 40 miles high and traveling 3400 mph

4:41 The shuttles three main engines uses 1/2 ton of fuel per second. Lord...

4:41 They've hit the point of negative return where they are too high and too far to return to Kennedy. 60 miles high and traveling at 5000 mph

4:43 The shuttle flipped over...dont worry it was supposed to.

4:45 The shuttle is traveling 15,000 miles per hour with main engine cut off and external tank separation at 4:46

07 August 2007

Stuff From the Book

I am reading Lady Chatterley's Lover by D.H. Lawrence and came upon this line that I liked...

"I believe in having a good heart, a chirpy penis, a lively intelligence, and the courage to say 'shit!' in front of a lady"

A chirpy penis? I hope that doesnt indicate some kind of VD....

06 August 2007

The Asterisk

How disgusting is Barry Bonds.

Saturday Night Bonds Tied Aaron's record with blast number 755. Sadly, no one listened to me when i suggested that every team just walk the mother fucker every time he is at bat. I am just sickened by Bonds, the stupid fans who support him and Selig for letting it get to this point. Now ESPN is reporting that Selig himself wont even make it to the next 3 giants games. You know that if it wasnt a juiced up player breaking the record Selig would be there. Of course he would. Selig didnt even celebrate when Bonds hit the tying homer.

It just makes me sick because the home run record should be unbeatable. 755 home runs is just tremendous and players should be fighting it out for second and be happy with that...(see Mark Messier who was thrilled with 1,855 points in 1,756 games second behind Gretzky's 2,856 points in 1,485 games.)

But no...instead we have to sit and watch an ungrateful, lying, cheating douchebag break the record and debate as to what the league should do about it. And for what? His legacy? Bonds has to know how people feel about him. How players feel. It is just gross to watch.

So, i guess I will say it again...walk the mother fucker.

If you would like to watch the game, see the horror live, you can catch the giants and the nationals tonight on espn2 at 10pm ET.

The Sports Guy agrees with me so I must be right, eh?

Q: If Bonds had hit No. 756 on the road, would the mood have been similar to when Chong Li killed that guy in the Kumite in "Bloodsport"?
--Matt G, Boston

SG: Right down to the swollen body and the oversized head. Look, I know it makes me a racist that I didn't want an ornery African-American baseball player who I believe cheated over the past nine years to break a record held by a dignified African-American baseball hero who didn't cheat, but still …. I thought it was appalling that (A) people weren't more appalled, and (B) a team going ABSOLUTELY NOWHERE like the Nationals didn't intentionally walk him every at-bat for three games just to make a point for the rest of the country. Nobody took a stand against Bonds this season -- not Bud Selig, not MLB, not the TV networks, not the opposing players or managers, nobody. Not one person stepped up. Everyone was secretly excited to see it happen. And by the way, I include myself because I probably watched 95 percent of Bonds' at-bats live the past three weeks. Now I feel dirty.

03 August 2007

Good Music

I have been listening to the new Kings of Leon album, Because of the Times.

It is really quite good. So far my favorite song is Fans which you can listen to a snippet of here, and a YouTube live version here.

Hope you enjoy and have a super great friday.


I hate not being able to sleep...

Does anyone have some surefire ways to fall asleep? Dont give me the bottle of booze...I've done enough of that kind of sleeping. Also, i refuse to drink warm milk. Hell, these days I barely drink it at all.

Hmm...i sound like a picky patient eh?

Please help and i will mail you a special gift...

01 August 2007

Bird P.I.

NOTE: As I am writing this the Magnum PI theme song is running through my head. No lie.

So, I wish that I could be some kind of detective so that someday I could break a case wide open at a dinner party and eventually shout, "The proof is in the pudding!" while I point at the pudding. And it turns out there is a bloody knife or something in the pudding which leads to one of the guests doing a spit take because they just ate a spoonful of the pudding. That last bit can only happen if it is a humorous detective show.