28 September 2009

Banned Book Week, What Book Did I Read You Ask? #bbw

Howdy. I have two posts in celebration of Banned Books Week. Sounds strange I know but I look at this week as a way to celebrate my right to read whatever the hell I want to, without interference from teachers, parents, or so called do-gooders.

First, Non and I read, And Tango Makes Three by Justin Richardson and Pete Parnell with illustrations by Henry Cole.

This book is numero uno on the ALA's most challenged book list for 2006, 2007, and 2008. Reasons given:

anti-family - Actually, this book isnt anti family. In fact, it is rather pro family. It just isnt the kind of family a person who tries to ban books would like. It's a non-traditional family.

homosexuality - I assume they mean that the book promotes homosexuality. Non, the nine year old who read it didnt pick up on that. He certainly understood that the two penguins were male, and that they didnt hang out with the female penguins, but he didnt walk away from the book saying, homosexuality is great! He didnt even use the word. (He thinks homosexuality is fine of course but this book didnt tip him in that direction)

religious viewpoint - I am not sure what religious viewpoint the people who challenged the book were talking about. From reading it, religion wasnt mentioned and didnt play a part in the book at all. I assume they meant that by not talking about a specific western religion that the book was trying to push some heathen pagan religion but as an atheist, i can attest that there was NO religious point of view in this book at all.

unsuited to age group - Hmm, I suppose this would depend on the age of your children. There wasnt even the slightest hint of penguin baby making, or penguin anal sex. Unless you are disgusted by homosexuals, you can read this book and take nothing more from it than those penguins hatched an egg and now are a family. If you do hate homosexuals, then yes Crazy, this book is trying to indoctrinate your little butterface.

anti-ethnic - This is my favorite reason of all. This is the reason that I went all ranty over chicken with the family and Q had to talk me down. I had to actually m-w.com the word ethnic because the traditional meaning of "racial, tribal, national, cultural" didn't seem to apply. I wasnt aware that religion was included in the meaning, however. After I scoured the book for any mention of ethnicity and checked out all the photos to make sure brown black yellow cracker and red were accounted for I determined that folks who challenged this book must have decided that it was anti-religion. That really angered me. No where in this book is god or religion mentioned. The authors dont bag on christians. There aren't protests of the penguins by Westboro baptist church members. There is nothing anti religion or religious at all in this book. However, thats the problem right there...

There is a significant and loud subset of christians who think that when you dont talk about religion, that you are actively being ANTI religious. Ricky Gervais is dealing with similar criticism about his new movie The Invention of Lying. Critics have said it was anti-religious when in reality the movie says nothing about god or churches or anything else even remotely religious. The fact that Gervais doesnt mention a god at all is what people are referring to when they say it is anti-religious. Isnt that doublethink? I always thought it was okay for me to just be my own little atheist, not out trying to convert. But now i find that if i write a book that neither bashes nor praises the western christian god I am anti-religious?? Fuck, if NOT talking about a god I dont believe in means I am anti-religious then we are all screwed right?

After finishing the book Non declared it, "good, something kids should or could read." I asked him if was anti-family and he said no, because it was about families. I asked if it was anti-ethnic and he didnt understand what that meant. I asked if it was anti-religious and he said, with that distinctly nine year old whats-wrong-with-you-face, "...they are penguins."

From the mouth of babes....


Later this week I will be talking about Scary Stories to Tell in the Dark by Alvin Schwartz which is ALA's number one most challenged book from 1990-1999.

For more information on Banned Book Week Events in your libraries and bookstores check out this link.

Happy Reading!


19 September 2009

"If you once forfeit the confidence of your fellow citizens, you can never regain their respect and esteem."*

Fox recently placed an advertisement in newspapers that asked...

Good Question Fox, the only problem is that all the stations listed there DID in fact cover the rally in Washington D.C.

"CNN provided live coverage of the rally in Washington on Saturday, dispatching more than a dozen personnel, including multiple camera crews and the CNN Express Bus, to cover the event. Deputy Political Director Paul Steinhauser was live at Freedom Plaza; Correspondent Kate Bolduan reported live from the Capitol and throughout the crowd; All Platform Journalist Jim Spellman provided live hits all day after traveling for weeks on the Tea Party Express Bus; and CNN Correspondent Lisa Desjardins was live for CNN and CNN Radio from the National Mall."

If you read the story you can see that all of the other stations mentioned in Fox's ad also covered the rally.

Why did Fox lie? I cant stand that. It makes me so angry and what really kills me is that it is a ludicrous lie. A lie that can easily be disproved; that's a textbook definition of a pathological liar everyone.

Why would Fox risk looking so partisan and foolish? Its because they know that once the lie is out there, it is all that people will remember. People wont remember that CNN spent an extraordinary amount of time covering the rally. No one ever remembers someone being exonerated, they only remember them being accused. The moment a story leaks it becomes fact.

So Fox feels comfortable lying because the fans of Fox News will feel galvanised and will accept the ad as fact. The folks who dont like Fox will blow it off as some partisan bullshit and will forget about it in half a week when the next politician hits on a lobbyist.

But civility and honesty dies a little and Edward R Murrow spins in his grave.

~tweet tweet goes the cynical bird

*Abraham Lincoln

14 September 2009

Banned Books Week

Its that time of year again. Banned Books Week is September 26 - October 3 2009.

Last year I read The Chocolate War, by Robert Cormier. I found it completely un-ban worthy. Honestly its the kind of books that kids can relate to. One that is didactic without beating you over the head with it (Can you tell I am studying for the GRE?).

This year I am going to read And Tango Makes Three, by Justin Richardson and Peter Parnell. Its a children's book based on the true story of two male penguins at New York's Central Park Zoo who formed a couple and were seen trying to hatch a rock that was shaped like an egg. Zany penguins.

Its been #1 on the top ten list of most frequently challenged books for three years. The common reasons given are that it is anti-family (you mean anti-the type of family I think is okay), homosexuality, religious viewpoint, unsuited to age group, and anti-ethnic. I cant imagine what the hell that last one is about. Unless the penguins get into it with some African elephant.

Anyway, soon I will know and will, of course, pass that information along to you.

If you would like to read a banned book (which you totally should!) you can check out lists here. Also, check out the National Coalition Against Censorship website. Tons of good info (there is a perm. link on the right margin as well).

This is an issue near and dear to my heart so expect a couple more posts about it.

Happy Reading

13 September 2009

Donks and Musings

The season opener was sad and funny and sad all at once (yes, only two things).

The first play, a bungled punt return was a visual representation of what the entire season will be like. Whenever Orton trotted onto the field i watched the game through my fingers...yikes.

If anything, the crazy touchdown in the last 30 seconds just made me feel worse. Sure it was exciting but....if the Donks get a win, that's how it is going to have to happen all season long. So sad and funny.

Also, my fantasy football team has a new name, Dino Eats Jesus based on this photo

I will let you know how it goes. Right now, I have 169 points but he has a couple of players on Monday night so...
I get the Denver Post on Sat and Sunday because I am a sucker and when the kid came to the door to sell it to me I couldnt say no. I hate that crap...

Anyway, i hate getting the paper but am lazy (you noticed that already didnt you?) and havent called to cancel. Every week I remember why I dont like the newspaper... i swear there is no new news. Everything I had already read before, online or whatever.

But, today-finally- something I missed, though I am shamed to admit it. When did the Avs pick up Craig Anderson? Jeez, i stink! Didnt even see it. Burgundy White game is this Wednesday everyone. Pre-season opener on the 17th and the season opener and retirement of Sakic's jersey on October 1st.

Arent you glad I started blogging again? You're welcome America.


10 September 2009

Five Weeks?!

Wow, what kind of slacker am I?

Lets see, whats been going on.

Got married yesterday, watching football as we speak (yay, real football), am currently fighting my new companies discriminitory PTO policy, and am working on Vocab words for the GRE!

I've been busy but more than that....lazy. Not sure what is going on with that. I will try try to post more. Right now, brief alaska stuff.

Alaska was wonderful. I saw a buncha moose, like just hanging out in people's front yards peeing and eating the bushes. It was crazy. Also, five bald eagles. I wonder if it isnt as neat to see them if they are hanging out on telephone poles all the time.

Most importantly Q and non and I saw a buncha glaciers. We walked on one and took a boat to the other. It was freakin amazing and made me want to move there immediately.

Luckily Q reminded me of the winters and the lack of sun and so we arent moving but I will be going back.


Okay i am out. That's a lot for my first time back. I need to pace myself people!

04 August 2009


Dont you hate it when you are waiting for an email. You sent one off and now are waiting for the reply...what is taking so long?! Why arent they responding? Ugh...

02 August 2009

I'm Blogging!

Hi everyone. Sorry I have been so out of touch recently. I am super lazy i suppose. Dont think i dont love you because you know I do.

My mother is in town this coming week. Wow, that will be....fun? No, I tease. I am not really worried about it. Besides being pretty crazy she is low maintenance. At least, I think she is. I plan on ferrying her to the Molly Brown House, Tattered Cover, and a tea place I like. If you have other ideas on where to take an aging woman I would really love some ideas. No jogging (that's for me not for her).

I am getting excited for our trip to Alaska. I only wish i wasnt working that week as Q and non are going to see some cool shite. No worries my friends, I will be seeing some glaciers for sure. I am hoping to bring back a puffin in my pants. Shh dont tell TSA.

TSA: Is that a puffin in your pants ma'am?
Bird: What? Oh this lump? Why no its just my front balls. Hold up...what's that over there! *points* That man has a 4 ounce bottle of lotion!!


Every time i listen to Queen I remember how freakin good they are. Can you get behind that??!!

I got a better How-To book for my Uke. This one will teach me how to strum, something i am super crappy at. Also, a book of country tunes. Soon I will be annoying all those around me with hits like, "Tumbling Tumbleweeds, Happy Trails, and Your Cheatin' Heart. But the hits dont stop there!! You'll also get to hear my off key Cold, Cold Heart, Ring of Fire, and King of the Road. PLUS if you act now I will poorly strum I Fall to Pieces! HOW can you pass that up?!"

Okay peoples. I am out. I hope to be around a bit more and to dispatch from Seward's Ice Box....no wait, Seward's Folly.....hmm no, The Final Frontier.....closer. Well, I am sure i will figure it out before i get up there.

~typing and blogging~

21 July 2009

THAT Family

Have you guys ever seen THAT family? The one that as soon as you lay eyes on them you can tell they are the most annoying people on the face of the planet? They aren't particularly trashy, like the Bundys, or dumb and luckless, like the Griswalds. I dont actually know how to describe them. I suppose they talk a little too loud. Maybe the kids are super-nerdy and not in the good way. One of them has a nasal-whine voice. They stumble over chairs, they get their coats caught in the car door, they drop sodas on the floor. Do you know that family?

They were at the burger-hut during lunch today. I bonded with spanish speaking patrons and black mailmen on lunch break...all of us were horrified and embarrassed for them. THAT family appears to be the great unifier.

07 July 2009

Hejduk For Captain

*ring ring*
Birdy: Hello?
Joe Sakic: Hi Bird.
B: Hey there Joe...what's the word?
JS: I'm done, thought I would let you know first.
B: I appreciate that Joe. Happy 40th by the way...
JS: Thanks for remembering.
B: Of course, so what are you going to do now? Play for Team Canada in 2010?
JS: First I am going to call Chelios and try and talk some sense into him.
B: Good call. Hey, would you tell Sacco to make Hejduk captain?
JS: I will...take care-see ya around the Ice Shack!
B: Thanks!

Bye Captain Joe...no matter what Q says, you were a good player and a stand up guy. Just because I totally knew he was outta here this summer doesnt mean I am not bummed about it. I wonder if he will go the way of Chicken Parm? That would be nice to see.

I think Sakic's retirement and all of the new personnel really does signal a different Avalanche team. One that no fan in Colorado has ever seen...the next couple of years will be disappointing but very interesting.

02 July 2009

Good Stuff

There is some kind of happiness in this line from Vampire Weekend...

His honor drove southward seeking exotica
Down to the Pueblo huts of New Mexico
Cut his teeth on turquoise harmonicas

Maybe you have to hear the song to feel the happiness.

This is the beginning of my 4th of July weekend. Let me be the first to say, happy America Day

~fireworks and trips to the emergency room~

29 June 2009

Tables and Chairs and Rugs Oh My

I know you are thinking to yourself, "What the hell is wrong with bird? She usually can't shut her mouth and here we are at mid-July with hardly a post in the last couple months."

I have no explanation for it. Maybe it is the summer Happy Cynic...work has been busy (i was in Kansas...there were ticks). It certainly isnt that there is nothing to talk about (munpe q and i are getting married [exciting eh?!], the avs hired Steve Konowalchuk and Adam Deadmarsh [this made me happy], dead celebrities everywhere [not Billy Mays!], and annoying political issues [Bill O'Reilly lying, Obama doing stuff i dont dig]). In fact, maybe there is too much to talk about. I dont know. I have felt blah and so i just havent bothered. Sorry if you check out the blog hoping for a time waster at work and have been disappointed.

Today's big exciting news is that we bought a kitchen table and some chairs. Also a rug and some seat cushions.


In other exciting news. The Colorado AIDS Walk is earlier than ever, August 15th. I am not sure if we are going to create a team or just raise money individually but be on the look out for the 20-25 emails I send out asking for money (nah i tease, i only send out three or so). I am kinda bummed about the calender move. August 15th is still mighty hot...


Okay, that's all for now people. Too lazy to think of anything else to say. Perhaps I will find the strength to blog about America Day (quickly approaching). Perhaps a run down of my favorite 4th of july disaster movies they always show on tv. Like the only way we can join together as a nation is when we are nearly exterminated by aliens or rocks from above. Actually, that's probably true...

Happy monday

~lazy bird

12 June 2009



Expect more of this as the summer goes on. I am expecting Sakic's announcement at any moment (You know I will be the first call he makes right?).


Game 7 Tonight on NBC at 6pm! Game sevens can be a lot of fun or really horrible. The Capitals can attest to that after pushing the Pens to a final game only to play like crap and lose 6-2. The Avs once lost to the redwings 8-0 (or something horrible like that) in a game seven.

Sadly, i dont think the Pens stand a chance, even though I would like them to win. And if their recent 5-0 loss in Detroit is any indicator of their play away from the Igloo, it wont be a fun night.

But, game sevens are not about the previous six games. It comes down to 60mins and any team can win, so lets get on the bandwagon eh?

Lets Go Pens!

~Blue lines and one-timers~

08 June 2009

*Shakes Fist At the Sky*

I curse the day that i blogged about kids skanking at the lame ass RBF show I worked three years ago.

I curse the day i posted a photo of The Beatles 'Let it Be' cover.

07 June 2009

Ahhh! Tornados everywhere!

04 June 2009

Coach Sacco?

Joe Sacco, new Avs coach. They moved the former NHL'er up from our AHL team the Lake Erie Monsters.

I dont know much about Sacco, but i agree with Munpe Q that I like the idea of pulling up a guy from the AHL. I vaguely remember Sacco as a player and I have no idea how he is as a coach. The Monsters are only in their second season and they didnt have a stellar record but there are so many factors that play into that...

I think anything to shake things up is a good move. Avs need some fresh blood.

Expect to see an announcement about retiring from Sakic as soon as the Stanley Cup Finals conclude....you know he's done.

Next year will be....interesting.


03 June 2009

I just effectively rewrote history. Easier than i thought it would be.


"She would bring a form of racism and bigotry to the court. But as I said yesterday, folks, I'm-I'm -I may look past that."-Rush Limbaugh

Seriously....you think she is going to bring a form of racism and bigotry to the court and you are going to look past that?? I think you are wrong but that being said, if you really feel like that shouldnt you stick to your guns?

Why the about face on Sotomayor? Because, "she's a Catholic, she's a devout Catholic, she's a Hispanic Catholic, Puerto Rican, they tend to be devout" and you think she is going to overturn Roe v. Wade?

Is there anything you love more than telling a woman what she can't do with her vagina? Christ Rush...you make no goddamn sense.


The Avs are clearing house! Nearly everyone you are familiar with has just been fired including longtime assistant coach Jacques Cloutier, assistant GM Michel Goulet and video coordinator P.J. DeLuca. I dont know exactly what the video coordinator does actually...

Anyway, read more about it here.

Please no Keenan!

~Busy Bird

01 June 2009

Piggy Back

Super cool video of NASA's Atlantis returning to Kennedy Space Center in Florida.

31 May 2009

Good christ...I love the Zamboni.

27 May 2009


I know, i haven't blogged in forever. There are a bunch of things I want to talk about; politics, and dumb news and other crap but I am too swamped/sleepy/lazy.

Did I mention i have been busy playing my new Ukulele?

Anyway....Roy turned down the 'non-existent' coaching offer that, he assured us, the Avs did not extended last week. Man, this has got to make Granato feel great eh?

I wonder if we will be shopping around for a different head coach. Keenan just got fired and if he ends up here I will flip my shit...and not in the good way. I dont like that guy.


18 May 2009

Coach Roy?

I suppose we will hear about this sometime soon.

15 May 2009

Hockey and Fruit

It's been a while since i have posted but, in my defense, things have been crazy.

******Hockey's Up First******

As excited as I was for the second round of the playoffs, I am equally un-excited for the conference finals.

Penguins beat the Capitals in seven games.
Carolina beat the Bruins in seven games.
Detroit beat Anaheim in seven games, and
Chicago beat Vancouver in six.

That means that this next round will be super boring! The Wings will stop Chicago's magical run. They are the defending champions and will be back in the finals again.

And, the Penguins will stop Carolina's magical run. They played the Red Wings last year in the finals and will be back there again.

So....no surprises and the same match up as last year. Hmm, kinda boring.

That being said, I think the Pens are better than last year and will really challenge Detroit. As for me, I am rooting for a Penguin Stanley Cup.

Cubie, now ex-cubie as she has moved to a quiet part of the office, had to listen to me blab endlessly about the two things I wanted to see in Hawaii: lava and a pineapple plant. As you may remember, i saw neither (did i tell you about the damn rainbows though? yes, yes i did) and was a little bummed about it.

Today she brought me one...wanna guess which?

My very own Pineapple Plant! I promptly named him Don Quixote because pineapples were introduced to Hawaii by Spainish sailors.

Thanks Cubie! Double thanks for not bringing me hot lava!

Happy Friday to you all!


08 May 2009

Interesting Development

I was just sitting here thinking, "I should blog but I have nothing to say." But then the blog-gods looked down upon me and took pity...

Roy's in town to meet with Lacroix.


I wonder if Roy would make a good coach? He won with his Junior League team but that's not quite the same. He seems like such a hothead...it would certainly be...interesting.

I suppose even if he is horrible, we cant get much worse than we did this season.

This popped into my head while thinking about it so i decided to include it...

Oh Elwood, how I love you (after the scene in the Soul Food Restaurant of course)...


06 May 2009

Derby Winner

Hercules brought up a good point in a comment on my last post. I have overlooked the winner of the Kentucky Derby.

I did see who the winner was, and the crazy come from behind, 50-1, win; but only in highlights. I spent last saturday judging History Day Presentations. Yeah, dont ask.

I am a big fan of horse races. Dont know why. I enjoy watching the Derby and the other triple crown races too and usually do a good job of picking a horse in the top three. I dont bother to look at odds, i just choose based on the best name.

You know I would have chosen Saturdays winner, Mine That Bird. Though Atomic Reign would have been a contender in my book too. Kind of a shame that I missed it really.

Here's a clip of the winning run...with the phrase "got hot" appearing about 150 times.

I love that, at the end he was all, "coming down the rail is...(obviously checking a sheet with names listed)...Mine That Bird!" That and general noise in the crowd, horrified at the money they just lost.

So there Herc, happy now? Check out the Preakness May 16th!


05 May 2009

Happy Cinco De Mayo!

Here I am hard at work on the happy day.

~lucha birdy

Defining Moment

First of all, I missed the Caps Penguins game last night but would highly recommend watching the highlights here. Two hat tricks?! So exciting.


In class yesterday one of the students gave a presentation and said that the Jewish Holocaust was the most important moment in the 20th Century.

I really disagree with this statement. Certainly it is an important moment, but not THE penultimate moment. But then it got me thinking, what do i think the most important moment of the 20th Century is?

I am sure my bias is showing but, I think landing on the moon is the most important moment. We left the fucking planet in 1969. LEFT THE PLANET!! I mean, really think about that. Cases could be made for the invention of the microchip, or the first use of the atomic bomb.


30 April 2009

Second Round Baby!

I have to say, the NHL second round match ups are pretty spectacular.

Redwings vs Ducks
Not only have the Ducks knocked off the Wings before, they just booted the President's Trophy Winning Sharks. Detroit has been so good this season that I cant see the Ducks getting past them. As sad as it is to say, I think Detroit is going to the finals. I hope the Ducks at least push them to a game seven...but the brain says Redwings in five.

Canucks vs Blackhawks
This is the one match up I dont have a stake in one way or the other. I would hate to see Coach Q succeed since i think he's a bit heavy handed. However, the Blackhawks have been so sad for so long that I really like the idea of them moving to the next round. If the Avs were any better, i would have to root against the Canucks since they have been are our division rivals (say what you will, the Northwest is the toughest division). But, since the Avs are a hot mess, i wouldnt mind seeing Vancouver advance. Like i said, its a moot point since i think Detroit is your western conference champ.

Bruins vs Hurricanes
I am still in awe of the Canes win over the Devils. Talk about letting your guard down Brodeur. The face of the Devils when the final buzzer sounded was...complete shock. That being said, I am rooting for the Bruins here. I have much love for the oft forgotten Boston team. They look good this year and are well rested after ousting the Habs in just four games. During the regular season they won all four meetings with Carolina. I do think that the Playoff Canes will surprise them however. I see this going to at least game six.

Capitals vs Penguins
This is the most exciting match up of the second round and possibly the playoffs. Everyone is talking about it. Finally a series pitting Crosby and Ovechkin. They drafted #1 and #2. They battled for the Calder, they battle for the Art Ross, they battle for MVP. The Penguins have Malkin but the Caps have Semin, a guy who-like Malkin-has been able to step up his game in the shadow of a superstar. Sadly, Semin is no Malkin. The supporting cast for both teams is pretty respectable. The Penguins have a better keeper in Fleury...Varlamov has no idea what he is in for and that could be the deciding factor. I like Ovechkin's style of play better...though both teams can be pretty gritty. This will be a tough battle but, as they say, dance with the one that brung ya. Caps in seven.

So there you go Hockey Fans. The breakdown from a bird that is totally unqualified to be breaking down anything.

Enjoy the second round starting tonight with the Canucks and Blackhawks.

~It puts the lotion in the basket!~

28 April 2009


Bea Arthur died on Saturday. Sadness. Bea was awesome. Super tough, didnt take shit from anyone, funny as hell...what more could you ask for?

Check out this link...or Bea Arthur will kick your ass from the grave.

24 April 2009


All kinds of things are hurting and aching today.

I dont feel like I have anything to say but I thought i needed to make contact.




20 April 2009

This chicago-calgary game is scrappy...

19 April 2009

Little Birdy

There is a birds nest on top of the porch support post. There must be babies because every once and a while I see the mom/dad fly back and little mouths pop up to get some grub.


I wonder what the baby birds do all day? When they dont eat are they sleeping? Why is it so hard for me to imagine birds sleeping?

I tell you what, this bird is very sleepy.


17 April 2009

Did You Ever Know That You're My Hero?

I think we use the word hero too often. Getting captured by pirates and having US Navy Seals come save you doesnt make you a hero, it makes you a victim.

Dont get me wrong, i am super glad he is okay too but lets give credit where credit is due. The Seals are the heroes in this story.

16 April 2009


I cant tell you how happy I am to see John Madden retire.

I mean, besides having horrible taste in Mexican food, he is going increasingly insane before our eyes. In the middle of important plays he is discussing cobbler his wife made. The guy's a mush-mouthed loon.

Plus anything that reduces the amount of face time for this guy, is okay with me.


15 April 2009


Here's something I read that I enjoyed...

"It's not just that the overwhelming majority of scientists are now convinced that evolution is inscribed in the fossil record and in the lineaments of molecular biology. It is more that evolutionists will say in advance which evidence, if found, would refute them and force them to reconsider. ("Rabbit fossils in the pre-Cambrian layer" was, I seem to remember, the response of Prof. J.B.S. Haldane.) Try asking an "intelligent design" advocate to stipulate upfront what would constitute refutation of his world view and you will easily see the difference between the scientific method and the pseudoscientific one."

From---The Texas-Size Debate Over Teaching Evolution by Christopher Hitchens. Linked from NCAC

14 April 2009

Holy Ghost Batman!

Here are some shots from Easter Mass at Holy Ghost Church:

I know, its like a bad batman episode...you keep expecting the penguin to pop out near the organ but they are tilty because i was taking the shots surreptitiously.

The church is really very beautiful...photos really dont do it justice. If you are a local or in town visiting you should really make an effort to stop in.

I can report that there was no touching of the soul or burning of the flesh...which i think is a good thing all around.


12 April 2009

Fuzzy Snoochie Sadness

As i was googling "dog in space" to find out the correct name of the first dog in space, I found this sad story about how she died soon after reaching orbit.

You may say to yourself "How now brown cow?" No, you wont say that because that doesnt make any fucking sense in this context. (happy easter by the way)

In reality you may say, "This article was written in 2002, why are you so late to the party Bird?" And then I would say, "Because I couldnt find anything to wear..."

Then you would look at me funny and punch me right in the mouth.

It's Laika by the way. And you're welcome.

10 April 2009

Want ***UPDATE***

...on t-shirts and stickers....

Must have...

For those not in the know...that's Darwin you damn fools!


Tomorrow I think I am going to get up early and go to morning prayer.


Steve McQueen jokes that I will burst into flames the moment I step inside but I think the reports of my blasphemy are greatly exaggerated.

Well, maybe not. But I would like to think that god would want to encourage me to attend morning prayer rather than be such a baby that he would smite me for telling a couple jesus jokes.

Also, i am not going for the prayer as much as I am going to check out the inside for my paper. Certainly, if god did exist, he would understand deadlines and whatnot. He did have that whole 7-days thing weighing him down.

If I feel the slightest tingle of anything (be it god or a burning sensation in my brain [how do I know the difference??]) I will let you know immediately.

~rosaries and eucharists~


07 April 2009


I suck...why am i doing this? Who the fuck knows, but I have.

Bird's Twitter Page

I suppose this makes up for the fact that i dont have a facebook or myspace page...

"Two minutes, by yourself, you know and you feel shame, you know."


06 April 2009

Thats is Insanity

holy crap he's fun to watch...

04 April 2009

They Say It's Your Birthday...

....da na na na nah nah...

It's Sklimps birthday too yeah...

03 April 2009

Springtime Music


Listen to this before the snow flies all you denverites.

And if you are somewhere spring-like, please enjoy!

As always, it is better with headphones...


02 April 2009

All Sports All The Time...

I know other people are pretty excited about Kyle Orton but...i guess I am just not sold. Cutler is certainly a better player, there is a reason Chicago gave Orton up. It is a whole new system with McDaniels so who knows how it will all shake out. I just feel that since it isnt an improvement over Cut why didnt we try and address some of our other issues, like our atrocious defense?

Time will tell but right now this bird is a little disappointed.

To add insult to injury, the Avs, already eliminated from the playoffs, lost their best player to a fractured hand last night. A game Steve McQueen and I had the luxury of watching. I know, who gives a shit, but still. It just makes the last five games really really horrible.


sad sports day.

~pigskin and twine~


01 April 2009


When I was a kid i searched high and low for the "little cinnamon gum" that didnt freshen breath as long as big red. Goddamn how i wanted to find it...

...i still do in fact. But at least now I know it doesnt exist. Makes the longing a little more bearable.

Also, who wouldnt want to make out with a teenaged-tuba playing Ralphie?


31 March 2009



Donks to Trade Cutler

I dont know if I am sad or mad or anything really. I guess i am annoyed that it came to this. Perhaps someday we will look back with our third superbowl win behind us and laugh at how we all thought this was McDaniels big screw up. All i know is that we aren't going to win a motherfucking thing next season and that is about as far as I look into the future.


26 March 2009

Things That Make My Head Explode

At work yesterday there was a little dead bird lying on the sidewalk. It made me sad.

I think I found out how it died...this video.

"How can you know that?" you may ask. Why? because it nearly made my bird head explode.


Space Talk

Shuttle Discovery undocked from the the ISS and took pretty cool photos of the station with the solar panels unfurled.

Neato. While at the nasa website i listened to the president talk with the crew and decided that Mike Fincke, ISS Commander, is the coolest guy ever. Click here to listen if you would like. Also, the guys nick name is spank so...that's pretty sweet in itself.

Discovery lands this saturday at 1:43pm EST. Watch it on CSPAN or nasa tv. Or follow on the tubes at the landing blog.

I am hoping for a snowy work at home day tomorrow...cross your fingers for me.


23 March 2009


This song by Ray LaMontagne is heartbreaking and beautiful. It leaves you feeling devastated and somehow feeling okay all at the same time. I recommend slapping in the headphones for this one. Hearing LaMontagne moan in your ears will really kill you...

Speaking of killing yourself and heartbreak...Happy Monday


21 March 2009

School and Such...

After half a semester into my first graduate course I am finally learning something I actually care about. Dont get me wrong, archives and museums are nice and such but preservation and buildings are the reason I am taking this class to begin with. So far, I have learned that I have a lot left to learn....

I have chosen to write my graduate topic paper on J.J.B. Benedict, one of Denver's better known architects. He's been one of my favorites since i worked at the SHPO...if only because his name is Jules Jacques Benois Benedict.

I plan to do an architectural survey of the Holy Ghost Church downtown (for you locals, the church that's under the office building on 19th) for my preservation paper and am really looking forward to it.

It's a lot nicer than other buildings i have surveyed for work...namely crap like this...

I will probably mess it up but I suppose that is why I am taking the class in the first place right? Right....

~buttresses and porticoes~

18 March 2009

11 March 2009

Space....The Not So Final Frontier...*UPDATE*

The launch of the Shuttle Discovery was scrubbed today because of a leak in the external tank.


Depending on what they find and what the repairs will entail, it may be a go for tomorrow at 9ish EST.

Sigh...i like space...


Looks like the shuttle is good for a Sunday launch at 7:43 p.m EST.

10 March 2009

Oh. My. God.

This is...quite possibly...the best thing on the interwebs. I cannot tell you how many times i have watched this in the last 30min. I dont know whether to be proud of myself or horrified.


08 March 2009

The Halls of Medicine

I still sound like a drag queen.

Three weeks ago i was sick. That lasted about a week but for the last two my voice is still breaking like a 13 year old prepubescent boy.

I feel fine, but the voice thing is just relentless.

I am on my fourth bag of throat drops. I know I know, go to the doctor, you say. But i looked it up on webmd and there isnt anything they can do about it anyway so why waste my time and money right?

Enjoy this...

~Did you turn your clock back?


06 March 2009


Today Obama is set to reverse Former Prez. Bush's 2001 Executive Order barring the National Institutes of Health from funding research on embryonic stem cells beyond using 60 cell lines that existed at that time.

This is wonderful news for people suffering from all kinds of diseases. You know Michael J. Fox is thrilled to hear this as he has been a big opponent of Bush's decision to put politics before science.

It is nice to see Obama live up to his inaugural promise to "restore science to its rightful place."

Progress feels good...

~happy friday everyone

05 March 2009


Two things made me happy today.

One of them is this post from Geekologie.

"Saturn, the second largest moon-whore in the solar system (behind Jupiter), has been caught hiding another trick in one of it's outer rings. What a slut!..."

Read the rest here

I dont know why the phrase 'moon-whore' made me so happy but it did.

~peaches and tweets~

03 March 2009

"Change always comes bearing gifts." *

Not too long ago I had a post about a significant change in the Endangered Species Act that the Bush Administration was pushing through before leaving office.

The change allowed "federal agencies to decide for themselves whether highways, dams, mines and other construction projects might harm endangered animals and plants." It was completely ridiculous.

Today, on the 160th Anniversary of the Department of the Interior, the Obama Administration "issued a memorandum that effectively suspends the regulation while ordering a review to determine whether it promotes 'the purposes of the [Endangered Species Act].'"

This makes me very happy. It isnt like i am in love with Preble's Meadow Jumping Mouse and the Dudley Bluffs Bladderpod, it's that there is a process already in place to protect these animals and it doesn't really stop construction of roads or drilling or any other type of activity. Just because Bush didn't give two fucks about animals and plants and the process made it more difficult to plow over bald eagle nests, doesnt mean the process wasnt working...

In celebration let me share one of my most favoritist songs by Wilco...Hummingbird. This song makes me feel small and wonderful. Hope you like it too.

~Enjoy the rest of your square root day~

*Price Pritchett

02 March 2009


"Math Fans to Celebrate Square Root Day"

"The math-buffs' holiday, which only occurs nine times each century, falls on Tuesday - 3/3/09 (for the mathematically challenged, three is the square root of nine)."

Wow....that's pretty....exciting?

Is this how people feel when I talk about curling?

01 March 2009

Canada's Favorite

Hey there. This is bound to be Canada's most favorite post in the 3+ year history of Tales of an Angry Bird. Not that Canada reads this blog but still...if they ever stumble upon it...

First Up-Hockey!

The Colorado Avalanche are the worst team in the world!

Alright, that may be a bit much, but they are the worst team in the western conference. They lost to the Rangers last night 6-1. They had FOUR shots in the first period and the blue shirts had FOUR goals in that same period of time. Avs had a whopping 40 penalty minutes in the third period....I mean, what the fuck! It is so depressing...

Second- Curling! I attended the 2009 U.S. Olympic Curling Trials yesterday. You may remember me talking about it 17 months ago.

Well, the time has come and so yesterday Augustine of Hippo and myself attended the Mens Finals where we cheered on Team George and Team Shuster. The team i randomly chose (Team Shuster) won.

It was a close match with Tyler George, the skip, making a couple costly errors that cost his team the win. It was heartbreaking to see him lose. Even still it was very exciting game and I had a wonderful time. Below are some photos and a couple of videos i took of the match...

Team George throwin the rock...


Shuster giving direction...

Shuster thowing the rock AND giving direction...

And, Team Shuster after the big win...

~So there's your U.S. Mens Curling Team. Cheer them on in 2010!

I am off to the Littleton Museum and then a rousing night of homework and presentation preperation...

~tweets and peaches~

26 February 2009

"I've got to admit it's getting better/a little better all the time"

I am feeling better. I still sound horrible (so if you are into that kind of thing give me a ring) and i get tired easily but the pounding of my head and overall crappiness is gone...so that is something right?

Not much to share but I felt that it was time to post something. I am slogging it out in Hawaii paperwork (damn you impossible-to-spell names!) and thinking that I was punished with island fever for all my bitching about the humidity.

I found a new album to fall madly in love with, "We Brave Bee Stings and All" by Thao. Honestly, I can't recommend this enough.

I feel like I am falling behind in school, so that is awesome. Missing class on monday was stinky. I have more museums to visit (one less, thanks to Q and Lucretia Vaile) and some research on my grad. topic. Q is gone for work next week so I am hoping to knock out some work then.

Other than that...nothing I can share.

Hope your week has been more productive than my own.

~cough drops and tissues~

22 February 2009

I Wanna Die....

The problem with being a procrastinator is that if something happens on Sunday, like say you feel sick as a dog, you cant do anything about it. You still have to write your papers and read your books....

Jesus, i am 30 years old, have I learned nothing in that time?

~cough cough goes the sick birdy~

17 February 2009

16 February 2009

Fowl Cannibalism

My pal steve mcqueen tipped me off to a disturbing story that (sadly) made me laugh very hard. I am not proud of myself people...

Seems that he noticed a chickadee....

Hello cute chickadee!

Didn't think anything of it until he realized it was eating a chicken wing.

The hell?? That's cannibalism you little stinker! Knock that shite off.

15 February 2009

“Most of American life consists of driving somewhere and then returning home, wondering why the hell you went” *

Back on the mainland. I ended up liking Hawaii...it kind of grew on me, like the mold that would certainly grow on my sloth like body if I lived there for an extended period of time.

I just crapped out a particularly horrific paper on the NARA for my class. It is good to see that I am holding on to the whole procrastinate until the last minute paper writing technique I perfected in my undergrad years. Hopefully I will get an email from my professor telling me what she wants so i can make some changes before class. As it stands now...pretty sad.

I missed Darwin Days while on the island. February 12th is the birthday of Charles Darwin and since this would have been his 200th birthday it was kind of a big deal. Not here of course, since we are a country of believers and Darwin is persona non grata but in the UK it was a big deal. Enjoy some Richard Dawkins if you swing that way.

Not much else to share. The Happpy Cynic asked if I had more photos of Hawaii...sadly, only things like this

and this

Pretty sad eh? I didnt step foot on a beach or visit any shops or restaurants. Oh wait, a nice coffee shop very early the morning that I left and that is about it. Well, what can you do eh?

Hope your new week treats you all well.


* John Updike

12 February 2009

Island Music

One thing I am enjoying are the local music stations. I am sure that if i spent more than a week here i would be tired of the love songs with a reggae sound. Since I am not, however, it's a nice break from all the crap that plays on the other channels.

Also, the drivers are sickeningly nice. And I saw five fucking rainbows today for christs sake. We get it Hawaii, you're so friendly. Lay off will ya....

Work has been difficult. 15 POC's makes for a reckless survey. For everyone who thinks I have spent my days lying on the beach drinking Chi Chi's here are some shots of the buildings we've surveyed...

Also...traffic looks the same everywhere

We have a full day tomorrow and I fly home tomorrow night, so the prospects of me actually walking on the beach and/or doing something semi-relaxing and vacationy seems to be diminishing rapidly.

Them's the breaks I suppose.

~hula skirts and coconut bras~


10 February 2009

The Aloha State

Hey there from hot ass Hawaii.

It reminds me of San Francisco but more moist. I think it is very pretty, but seriously, i am not into beaches enough to really dig on it. We were at Diamond Head all day. I dig the crater and know that it will be the closest i get to lava. *sniff*

Tomorrow we are finishing up at diamond head and then heading to Wahiawa. I am looking forward to getting out of Honolulu for a bit.

Here are a couple of photos from our day....

The view from the house

The scariest thing i've seen in a while

And this photo of something leftover from the filming of an episode of Lost (does this mean anything to you Lost Fans out there?)

That is all for now...

~pineapples and poi~

08 February 2009

Aloha oe, aloha oe...

Here I am, trapped at the San Francisco Airport. My co-worker, also traveling to the Pineapple state...oh wait Aloha State...is right now on his way there. He was smart and flew through LA. I was dumb and landed in the fog half and hour after my flight left.

C'est la Vie.

At least that gives me time to blog and eat a crappy burger at some airport restaurant.

And before all the comments are filled up with, "you get to go to Hawaii for work?! Lucky!" Let me just remind you of all the time i have dispatched from Ely, Nevada. El Paso, McAllen and Del Rio Texas, Casper Wyoming....

I have had my fair share of shitty work venues and even the sun shines on a dogs ass now and then right?


My flight doesnt leave for two more hours but sadly I have nothing interesting to say. I want to blog about the new Native American inadvertent discovery protocol for Colorado but left the literature at home. Darwin Day is the 12th so expect a blog about that later this week.

Oh i can report this...i just paid 28 bucks for two sam adams and a burger. The beers were probably made by the original Sam Adams since they cost 6.30 a piece. Ah, the airport.

I do love the airport though. All different kinds of people coming and going. I witnessed a tearful goodbye between a soldier and his wife, parents and small child. I witnessed a frantic dash to a gate to make a last minute flight. I witnessed a toddler, two rows in front of me, scream the entire way to San Francisco.

Just now I witnessed the worst pair of boots I have ever seen. Yikes.

Alright folks. I am off to wait at my gate. I will write more this week....

*ding* Flight Attendents Please Prepare for Departure.

PS Q- I always do...

07 February 2009


Felt restless for various reasons tonight so i was perusing journals. Stumbled upon this from January 2nd, 2005.

From Uberto Eco's Foucalt's Pendulum:

"You spend your life seeking the opportunity, without realizing that the decisive moment that justifies birth and death has already passed. It will not return but it was-full, dazzling, generous as every revelation.

That day, Jacopo Belbo stared into the eyes of Truth. The only truth that was to be granted him.

The Pendulum, which haunted Jacopo Belbo all his adult life, had been-like the last address of his dream- the symbol of that other moment, recorded and the repressed, when he truly touched the ceiling of the world.

Jacopo Belbo didn't understand that he had had his moment and that it would have to be good enough for him, for all his life. Not recognizing it, he spent the rest of his days seeking something else, until he damned himself. But perhaps he suspected this. Otherwise he wouldn't have returned so often to the memory of the trumpet (object of desire). But he remembered it as a thing lost, not as a thing possessed."

The Object of Desire-The Opportunity-The Moment-The Truth "a thing lost-not a thing possessed." And so begins a new year...seeing the truth and knowing that it was possessed by me.

2005 turned out to be a good year for me.

04 February 2009

How Refreshing

Here is a very good article about non-believers and their place in the US.

It made me happy.

Long Live The Hud

Munpe Q is blogging and twittering as we speak. Check out his work to the right (see Munpe Q is Righteous). I've also added a link to Fuck You, Penguin which is possibly my most favorite blog ever (see Suck It Penguin). The last bit of housekeeping is the addition of the National Coalition of Censorship blog (see Censorship). Good stuff.

Last night i was able to attend a semi-swankish shindig at the Denver D&F Tower. Swankish stuff is not really something i am too comfortable with but I figured this could possibly be my only chance to live out all my Hudsucker Proxy fantasies.

Here are some photos I took:

The clock face from the inside

The clock face from the outside

On the upper balcony looking west

On the lower balcony looking east

Spiral staircase that leads to the cupola

That is all....

Happy Hump Day


02 February 2009

Happy Groundhog Day!

Six more weeks of winter is manageable here in Colorado when it is nearly 60 degrees outside.


01 February 2009

Super Bowl 43

I have to say, besides a lame 3rd Quarter, I think this was a pretty good Superbowl. Certainly it was entertaining enough to keep me from reading about maintaining practical archives.


I should say that I started this blog after Larry Fitzgerald Jr. ran for his second touchdown of the night. Of course I thought that the Cards were going to win then. I even selected this picture to use....

Sadly, I guess that i jinxed the team and now I have to post this...

I dont have anything against the steelers. In fact i like em quite a bit. But i was still rooting for Warner and the sad-sack Cardnials.

I suppose there is no excuse now for my slacking on homework...

~Whistles and Flags~

PS The Lombardi Trophy has nothin on this...

28 January 2009

“The ear of the leader must ring with the voices of the people” *

I'm no leader but my damn ear doesnt know any better. My stupid right ear is plugged and has been all day. Maybe I am fending off a cold or something but I have to say---it is extremely annoying.

Everything sounds muffled and pop and crackly...maybe it was the Rice Krispies I put in there this morning.

You having the same problem? Read here

What can you gather from that article? Q is pretty damn smart.

~pops and clicks and whistles~


*-Woodrow Wilson

26 January 2009

Why God Why...

It appears that I am the only one who truly appreciates the film, Mystery Men. Look, dont get me wrong, the film is horrible; even I can only watch the first half. Still, that first half is so goddamn funny.

Am I really all alone out here on this one??

How is Blagojevich allowed to live? If I lived in Illinois I would be so motherfuckin pissed off. This guy, who is in the middle of being impeached, is going on the View and Good Morning America and Larry King Live and has the gall to say that "after his arrest (he) drew inspiration from MLK, Gandhi and Nelson Mandela." What a giant douchebag.

First, I cannot believe that he is trying to spin this. What in the hell is he thinking? He is completely hosed and he is using whatever little spotlight he can to try and make a buck or get a new job out of it. It is disgusting to watch.

Second, what dumb ass producer is booking this worthless bag of shit on their show? I would feel disgusted if I helped this guy get any more face time. Saying things like he "considered approaching Winfrey for an open U.S. Senate seat..." I mean, that is stupid on so many levels I dont even know where to begin.

Lastly, I attended a panel discussion on the American Indian Genocide. It was pretty much what you expected with some interesting facts like, by 2050 only 20 of the 500 Native American languages will still be spoken.

Also, only 50% of Native American students graduate high school and of those, only 17% continue on to college.

Things got very exciting at the end when a Palestinian woman stood up and talked about how the Israelis have been slaughtering Palestinians for 22 days now and long before that. That when they defend their land they are called terrorists. Did I mention this talk was sponsored by the Mizel Museum...museum the of Judaica? Good times.

Then a gentlemen stood up to say that we need to acknowledge the ugly truth...and then pointed out that the genocide of the Mayan Indians in Guatemala was partially funded by the United States. It was pretty exciting all around.

22 January 2009


Besides the Roberts flub, that was a pretty good inauguration, eh? Things i liked best, Aretha's hat and Rev. Joseph Lowery's benediciton. Even I, the nonbeliever, said Amen to that.

Also, i liked the new Prez's inaugural address. Some may say there weren't enough, "The only thing we have to fear..." kind of lines in it but I dont think that matters too much. Some say that it wasn't focused enough but i would disagree with them. I think it set just the right tone for the new administration. Strong and resolute. I am looking forward to seeing how it all shakes out.

And now here, for your viewing pleasure, is my favorite photo taken during the big event...

12 January 2009

The Hills Are Alive...

...with the sound of screaming.

Rumor has it that during the cold war the BBC was preparing a list of ten movies it would play to calm and reassure the public in the event of a nuclear strike against the United Kingdom.

The Sound of Music was one of them....

Now I dont know about you, but I can think of, oh a hundred different things I would rather watch on TV in the event of a nuclear strike, with the local news being pretty high on my list.

All this got me thinking, what would a post-apocalyptic My Favorite Things be like...

PS No grief, Q and I really like kittens...

09 January 2009

It's Been Nine Days...

...Nine whole days into the new year.

I have things to say but no way get them out-out of my brain and onto the screen.

Since i cant get my own words out I thought I would pass along a line from a short story I read today. I have read this story many times and i always forget this line until the moment i come upon it and then I am struck by the simplicity of it. It is a rather, romantic line...think more James Fenimore Cooper and less Danielle Steel. While i love to read i can easily say that there are only a few passages that really stick with me. Few words that when I hear them, at that very moment, make me happy and break my heart all at once.

But...i cant do that either. I cant pass along this line because I know that to everyone else it wont feel right. That the perfect moment wont last or that it isnt for everyone and may be just for me.

So I have nothing and everything to say.

I am sure that I will write again soon. I know the goofball stories are there and that they will come pouring out of me, even if i dont want them to.

All in good time.

~peaches and tweets~