27 April 2007


Hey Bird, What's Buggin You?

Two Posibilities....


Or You


There are a number of ways you can locate my blog. Googling "Farmington is Horrible" is one way...

25 April 2007

These days are ours, Happy and Free (Those Happy Days)

I am feeling especially exurberant today. Everything and everyone that is important to me seems to be making me happy today, whether they are trying to or not. Often I take this as an omen of bad things to come...life's nasty little game of building you up only to tear you down. However, today I am choosing to just live in the moment and enjoy things as they come along.


As i was googling the lyrics to Happy Days i realized that there is no consensus on many of the lines. One thing there is a consensus on...the Fonz was rad. Also, google is a cinch to install! (ahh...that joke never gets old)


I was able to yell Marty McSorley three times at lunch today.

Alright...I hope you all are having a wonderful hump day.


20 April 2007

Well, Slap My Ass and Call Me Sally

I read a story on the local NBC website that made me shoot coffee out my nose (not recommended by the way).

First a quick peek into my geekiness...
I love many things political. Debates, voting, and i must admit city council meetings. Q and I have attended at least one meeting for the city we live in...sadly only one. But in our defense....we are lazy. No wait, the meetings are at an inconvenient time and we are lazy.

When we are sitting on our couch not going to council meetings we often watch the Aurora City Council on Television (SLACKER GEEK!). I believe that their chambers (or whatever the hell they are called) were designed by the guy who did the fireplace in Citizen Kane.

Seems a bit much to me but what do I know. They have a huge auditorium and you can tell that there is nobody in attendence. Kind of sad. However, they deal with some great stuff. People contantly underestimate what is going on in their town...or maybe they just dont care.

So, this article is about Aurora City Councilwoeman Molly Markert, which sounds like a weather girl's name right? Anyway, I have seen her on the "show" before. She never really impressed me but, honestly, very few did. I guess that on Tuesday she announced her bid for re-election...just one week after slaping or pushing a Smoky Hill School Official out of the way and saying "Do you know who I am?"

I suppose he does now and my guess is that she has lost at least one vote.

Bestest Friday to you All


19 April 2007

Two Questions

The first is rather benign; can anyone out there think of a reason that you would intentionally roll your windows down before locking it and going inside the building for work? There is some cat here at the building (a cubs fan it would seem) who drives up with his windows up, rolls them down, locks the doors (a waste of time? maybe he has one of those cobra alarm systems-which always seemed like something out of a g.i. joe cartoon), and goes inside. It could be that he doesnt want his car to get hot but, I have seen his car with the windows down in late winter and it is only supposed to be 60 degrees and windy here today. But honestly, what other reason could there be right? If i see him again I may just have to break down and speak to him.

Oh, as a quick aside, I finally saw The Pee. Yeah, pretty exciting. It is a woman but, she does have a horse face. More on that in another blog.

The second question relates to the recent tragedy in Virginia. Do you think that all this talk about what the police did or didnt do, what the mental health system did or didnt do, what university officials did or didnt do, do you think that all of this takes away from what actually happened; that 33 families have lost someone they cared about? Doesnt it seem like the bigger questions (what makes someone do something like this, how can we help these people before it happens again, etc etc) are getting lost amid the "how come you didnt know this was going to happen" kind of questions.

Everyone seems to forget that hindsight is 20/20. Of course now all the "signs" point to school shooter but in the midst of it all, it pointed to an obviously mentally ill kid. I remember reading a letter sent to the Denver Post after 9-11 asking why someone didnt predict this was going to happen. The "obvious" sign for them, September 11th, 9-11 911....duh! (by the way...i stoped reading the letters to the editor after that)

My point is, after a tragedy it is really easy to point out all the things that should have been done. Life isnt that nice though, you work with what you have and hope that it turns out for the best. I hope that soon we can stop going over and over the what-if's, the if-only's, and focus on the how-it-is.

16 April 2007

Killers Among Us

I was going to post about this lame ass couple from Colorado that annoyed me this week. (Please note that I deleted the girlscout cookie photo after girl and geek replaced it with a photo of someones cock--to teach me a lesson about stealing what must have been 58MB of bandwidth from them--though they werent brave enough to sign their names...)

The killings in Virginia put a bit of a damper on that though. Instead I have only good thoughts for folks at Virginia Tech. Everyone be safe and tomorrow I will share a story about the shootings that happened at UNC while I attended.

Sleepy sleepy bird

11 April 2007

Feeling Better

Today i woke up with a raging headache and see what that lead to?

I guess somedays I can control the rage inside and somedays I cant.

What could be making me feel breathless today you ask?

Here's a list of posibilities

* Sweet Potato

* Squash

* Carrot

* Taro

* Green Bean

* Non-hydrogenated Canola Oil

* Dextrin

* Sea Salt

* The fact that this food item was made in Vietnam and is most likely tainted with Agent Orange

10 April 2007

Rage 2.0

I woke up in a foul mood. My head hurt and i was just hating the world. These kinda days usually go one of two ways. Sometimes i push for "happy" and listen to music and think about all the wonderful things in the world. Other times I go for "raging bitch" and this is what you get...

Two Minutes Hate
I read a headline yesterday that said, "Oil Exec. Takes Home 400m in 2006" Today i see more headlines about the price of gas rising for the 10th straight week, and how gas will top out 11 whole cents cheaper then last year. These stories make me so fucking angry. There is a person making $400,000,000.00 a year. A year people...and we are paying 3 bucks for gas. I refuse to believe that his salary and the rising gas prices are somehow not connected. I am so fucking sick of stories about how we need to drill in Alaska because the cost of gas will go down. About how much crude oil costs and that is why gas is expensive. Fuck you! Our own countrymen are ass-raping us so they can have the really really nice jet and what can we do about it. Not a goddamned thing. Nothing. All you can do, honestly, are things for yourself. You can buy a car that uses less gas, prius or hell even a Honda. You can take public transportation and carpool. You can adjust your driving so that you are more efficient. You can do research on sites like GasBuddy.com for cheap gas. But if you think that calling your congressman, or signing a fucking petition is going to do anything then you are out of your mind.

Sexism and Racism in the news after Imus' stupid comments on his radio show. Lots of people are hoping that this will give us all an opertunity to discuss race and gender issues in the open. Please...while i would love to have an open and frank conversation about race and sex in this country, it just wont ever happen. I just finished a book that I would highly recomend, "The Mismeasure of Man". In it, Stephen Jay Gould takes on the idea of biological determinism. Excellent book that kind of left me feeling less certain about race relations in the modern world. Honestly, any minority doesnt stand a chance trying to change decades upon decades of racisim and sexism. These ideas--that african americans are only good at sports and music (Wow, that Barak Obama sure does speak well, as if we expected him to throw gang signs and nod his head the whole time),that women are not as smart as men (oh you're a male paralegal, so you must be getting your law degree...oh you're a male nurse so you must be studying for your MCAT),that the poor deserve to be poor because they are lazy (if you are on welfare you must not be working or even trying), these ideas have been around in some fashion for centuries. Not only that, they are perpetrated by our own kind. In my case, I dont know how many women I have met that act dumb rather then challenge a guy. It all feels too big. At a moment when I feel more comfortable with the state of the world, that we are progressing, something like 9-11 happens and now there is a new group of people for us all to hate, Muslims. Hell, watch Borat at the rodeo. If you think those people are in the minority it is time to get out and see the rest of the country.

Every goddamn person is self-absorbed and completely unaware of everything and everyone around them. I am so fucking tired of seeing people being selfish, whether it is something as simple as driving like a d-bag or as serious as blowing off people that should be important to you.

I suppose I should retitle this post the Loathing of Humainty

09 April 2007


I feel inspired to blog about things I hate. Dont you feel lucky this monday morning?!

1. Tons-of-Fun
She is condescending and rude to every single person here. She has fat sausage arms and cant reach around to comb the back
of her head. She has no waist (very Penguin like) so she wears her ginormous floral print skirts under her boobs. I am usually
a very friendly person (no, it's true!) but I can say that I detest this woman and hope that i dont get the boot because i said something
nasty to her.

2. Oprah
She has no training of any kind and yet, has no qualms about telling everyone on her show, in her audience, and at home, how
screwed up they all are. She picked an absolutely amazing book for her lame-o book club and then threw a hissy fit when the author
said he didnt want her book club stamp on it (a move i totally agree with since I myself refuse to read any book she has picked).
She gives away crap on her show all the time but you know it is just because she wants people to like her. She appears on the of
cover of every issue of her magazine. For christs sake, does she need more face time?

3. Mondays
Somebody's got a case of the Mondays!

4. JB's in Cars
Seriously, have you ever had to stop yourself from ramming a car in front of you. Sat there really thinking about whether or not you
could make the police officer believe that the driver you slammed into had suddenly stopped? Debated your current wage, your
insurance premiums, the amount of possible damage..."Could i swing it?"

5. Lotto Winners
Fuck that and fuck you movies...

6. The Avalanche
Honestly, is there a team that has handled the salary cap worse then "Your Colorado Avalanche!" Not making the playoffs is a
serious disgrace. But what is worse, in my opinion, is playing so well as of late. Why the hell didnt you guys have this sense of
urgency after the all-star break? Why the hell didnt you guys play tough all year? I expect some serious changes over on Chopper
Circle and if you are any kind of fan you will be hoping for the same...


Okay, it is time for me to get back to work...did I mention work as one of the things I am hating right now??


04 April 2007

You Look Like a Monkey....

Somebody is having a birthday...who could it be.

Why, it's my big bro Sklimps. Ah yes, he turns 31 today and i had to blog and wish him the happiest of happy birthdays.

Sklimps often visits the website and now you can read his excellent sports blog here. If you like sports and general intelligent reading i believe you will enjoy it.

Lets see what can i say about the bro...

He had what, like 25 heart attacks last year. He can be angry (must run in the family). He is most likely my smartest sibling, although the Commander is pretty impressive too. He is very funny, yet, not as funny as me. He is a big softy although you probably wouldn't guess that by looking at him. He is there when I need him and that means a lot.

Much love to sklimps; may the beer flow freely and maybe you can get a little action eh?

~tweet tweet went the bird

03 April 2007

So much to say...

What is the deal with vacations ?

They give me great ideas for blogs and yet, when i return there is a serious lack of writing going on.

Strange indeed