28 May 2008

An Open Letter To iTunes...

Look...you don't really know me, and for you to assume that I would like Smash Mouth and Brad Paisley kind of hurts. Also, the Juice Newton thing is an aberration. I mean, that song has a very specific memory you know? Certainly you can understand that. Everyone has a song like that...one that they cherish and at the same time, are embarrassed by.

I can tell you this, if you did know me you wouldn't offer up Jimmy Buffet just because I like Surfer Girl. How do those even relate? You aren't that dense are you, to just plop all "beach music" into one category? And just because I bought that DeVotchKa song from the Little Miss Sunshine Track doesn't mean I enjoy soundtracks and am interested in owning the music from August Rush...it means that 'Til the End of Time' isn't on any other album.

Anyway, thanks...

Your Pal,
Bird

27 May 2008

I Heart Gary Larson

Sigh...he is so damn strange and quirky and wonderful and I would like to pry open his skull and touch his brain.



I can read his cartoons over and over again and am still very entertained.

I remember reading his stuff and always running across a couple I could never understand. Later, i remember getting excited when i was finally able to go...Oh thats a play on Edmund Hillary.

Anyone who can make you laugh and educate you at the same time must be pretty special right?

B

25 May 2008

Amazing Things UPDATE

The first bit isnt amazing...yet.

Jim Payne is the Wheat Ridge Fire Chief. Chief Payne was critically injured following a fall at his home on April 5, 2008. He remains in critical condition in the ICU at a Denver Metro hospital.

Jim is a generous man. He is warm and funny and caring. A great man who's family is in need. So far this sounds much less than amazing but wait...it is because you can do something to help.

The James Payne Assistance Fund has been established to help pay medical and related expenses. Anyone wishing to contribute to this fund may send donations to Wheat Ridge Fire directly or stop by any branch of Wells Fargo Bank.

Check can be made to:
The James Payne Assistance Fund
c/o Wheat Ridge Fire District
P. O. Box 507
Wheat Ridge, CO 80034

Q and I will be doing whatever we can and if you feel driven to help a great family, i hope you can do the same.

*******
Did you get a chance to watch the mars landing this afternoon/evening? If you arent familiar with the story, the Phoenix Mars Lander was making its landing today. Unlike spirit and opportunity, two other rovers, Phoenix was too big to use the inflatable balloons...



Phoenix had to do a soft landing, like NASA has done on the moon. So, how do you get a freakin lander to go from Mach 1.7 to 5km? A supersonic parachute of course...

"Shortly after the parachute blossoms, the vehicle's protective heat shield is jettisoned. Then the probe's landing radar is turned on and its legs extended.

Even under parachute, Phoenix speeds through the martian atmosphere until it comes within .6 miles (1 kilometer) of Mars' landscape. At this point, the lander frees itself from the parachute. It then throttles up a set of landing thrusters fed by ultra-pure hydrazine and decelerates.

When Phoenix is either at an altitude of 39 feet (12 meters) or traveling at 7.9 feet per second (2.4 meters per second) the spacecraft starts traveling at a constant velocity. On touchdown, the landing engines are turned off, controlled by footpad-mounted sensors that detect contact with the surface."

How amazing is that??! Check out an animation video of the landing...be warned it takes a while to load.

Needless to say, it landed and by 10pm est we will have photos of mars. New photos, color photos like we've never seen before...

Amazing...

UPDATE


neat

20 May 2008

Let's Get a Little Perspective Here...

Right now I am angry at the Library of Congress. All i want to do is find some stupid information about Fort Duncan in Eagle Pass but every time i get into the system I am promptly booted out because, "All available connections to
the Online Catalog are currently in use." How can that be, LOC, when I am looking at a lists of results? Shouldnt I be using one of those connections? Over and over and over again this would happen. Get in, type Fort Duncan, get the boot. Get in, type Fort Duncan, get a list of results, get the boot.

I kinda wanted to fly out there and kick someones ass but then I read that Ted Kennedy has a malignant brain tumor and I thought, "You know what bird? Just shut up about your Library of Congress 'problems'" And that is just what i did.

Two Minutes Hate
It's been awhile since i have had a good hate....

Today it comes to you courtesy of Focus on the Family. I stumbled on a recent article where FOF is asking Marriott International to stop offering adult movies to guests, the group "also suggested that hotels make guests request the movies at their front desks instead of from their rooms."

Now, i dont think pron is for everyone and if you think it is immoral and wrong you are totally entitled to that opinion. In fact, i dont even mind FOF making the request. I mean, I dont have a problem with pron or people wacking off to it at the hotel, there is no way Marriott will drop it, but if you wanna ask then go right ahead. The bit that really annoyed me are the reasons FOF gave for trying to ban the pron...they said "pornography feeds prostitution and sexual abuse."

...Um What?!!? Prostitution and abuse? Do they have some sort of data to back up a claim like this or is it like me saying that Broccoli feeds wizardry and tennis elbow?

Not only is the claim ludicrous and without merit but it actually takes away from the real causes of prostitution and abuse. Do they think crazy guys like Brent Brents' looked at a copy of Juggs and then said, "Hmm, i feel like raping a 11 year old girl and her grandmother."

Does FOF think that if you get rid of dirty mags and videos that people will stop thinking about their junk? Everyone will be asexual until they get into a monogamous relationship when they will then realize their junk's a burnin' and then they will have sex in the missionary position until they die.

Do they think that if I catch glimpse of a pair of boobs or, heaven forbid a wang, that i will promptly leave my job as a shovelbum and go start sleeping with men for money. Is the only thing keeping me from prostitution the lack of anal play i have watched while staying at a Marriott? Or, perhaps, could it be contributed to a million other relevant things?

If FOF wants to deal with sexual abuse in this country I am all for it. But maybe lets focus on actual causes like the fact that sexual assault is a question of power, not passion. And that "Of convicted sexual assaulters, 50% repeat their crimes."

If you want to stop prostitution then maybe focus on why these men and women choose to sell themselves. Perhaps look into poverty, addiction to drugs or alcohol, low self esteem, history of abuse and neglect, no education and a feeling of no alternatives, and those who are forced either through human trafficking or some other violent and threatening means.


******
Sigh....
That felt nice.

Bird~

19 May 2008

Hullabaloo

I dont hear the word very much but today, three times, i ran across Hullabaloo.

Strange how things like that happen.

Tomorrow a post about pron!!


pic from...

17 May 2008

A Saturday Poll...

...Based on a random comment while watching TV






















16 May 2008

Ummm....

I have nothing to say. I havent posted in a while so i feel like i should but really, there is nothing that has piqued my interest.

In the last week I have acquired bronchitis, highly recommended if you havent tried it.

I watched War of the Worlds, the Tom Cruise version with the scary ass robot sounds.

I stayed home on Monday and Tuesday and watched horrible day time television, which included an ANTM marathon. Sadly, or luckily, i was in and out of sleep the whole time.

I was tricked.

And just now I saw a coyote.



he didnt look that mad though....

Also...this just makes things worse for shovel bums...


~Pretty lame week? Yes, I suppose....but have i mentioned that my born day is less than a week away? Indeed. Checks can be made out to N-e-l-n-e-t S-t-u-d-e-n-t L-o-a-n-s.

Tweet tweet
**B

11 May 2008

iWhat?

I have an unatural love of iRobot. I have seen it, oh-a thousand or so times on FX (Which must have some sort of Will Smith contract because Independence Day plays a lot too).

I was talking with Sklimps and Q today about Iron Giant..."Superman" and how i get all verklempt at it. If you know the bird you know that I am not very girly and hardly ever get worked up at films. Something about Iron Giant though...




I am guessing that the iRobot and Iron Giant thing are related. Maybe i just have an insane love of robots? Hmm...robots are pretty cool.





and of course...




Robots love us...



...and we love them.

Or at least Bird does.

09 May 2008

Munpe Q Gets His Wish



"The Colorado Avalanche announced Friday morning that Head Coach Joel Quenneville will not return next season."

Hmm....will they move Granato up or bring in someone new? Very interesting...

***
Speaking of Interesting...



How freaking cool is this? Read all about this Dirty Thunderstorm at National Geographic.

08 May 2008

I Got Me an Edgeucashion

I was talking with a co-worker about having a little file with all sorts of nasty grammar information tucked away for future reference. She mentioned the OWL, Purdue's Online Writing Lab...

B: "How does that spell OWL?"
N: "O-online, W-writing, L-lab..."
B: "Oh god, i was thinking ORL R-righting..." Success-showing up for work Failure-being so sick you embarrass yourself

submitted from success has failed

Bird Checkup

My cold moved into my chest. God how I hate chest colds. It feels like there are five pounds of wet heavy paper towels sitting inside my lungs. That feeling where you cant breathe is the worst....just the worst.



And what makes it even more miserable is that you cant just sleep it off. All night I tossed and turned and woke up to try and clear my throat. You get no sleep and feel really crappy the next morning. I would like to retract my head cold post, this new thing is much worse...

07 May 2008

Songs I Like...

I am not a big Beach Boys fans and besides Pet Sounds, I would have to say that I have never owned an album. Sure, i sing along to the occasional Little Saint Nick and Sloop John B when it comes on the fish radio in my shower...

However, I am so in love with Surfer Girl. I remember hearing it in high school and thinking it was the bees knees. It popped into my head today since Mr. Q was able to retrieve my music and photos (he rocks like that) and so I thought it would be nice to share with you.

Click here

06 May 2008

God Cuz Damn...

I have a head cold....



I hate colds. I guess that is a stupid thing to say because seriously, is there someone who lives for a good fever and chills? Dumb.

One of the things I hate the most is how stupid a cold makes you feel. For example, this morning alone, I have spent:

3 min trying to get hot water out of the hot water machine before i realized it wasnt on.

1 min humming out loud before my co-worker asked me if I was humming the theme from the pirates of the Caribbean (i wasnt...it turns out i was humming Green Day).

2 min staring at the papers in front of me before i remembered i was supposed to be writing a annotated bibliography.

and 1 min opening drawers in my filing cabinet before I could remember what i was looking for.


Oy vey...

05 May 2008

Losing Stuff

...makes you feel like this.



I hope I can find it all again...

01 May 2008

Swept Away

A horrible Madonna movie and an even worse second round series against the Red Wings. If you've seen swept away you know how bad that is.


Here's the score for you non-fans, non-sports center watching, non-newspaper reading folks...

8 to 2....the Avs lost Game 4 eight to fucking two.

I mean, what can you even say about that? It is just pathetic. I remember feeling the same way after a very similar game seven loss against the red wings in 2002. At the time i said something like, it was such a shitty loss that you cant even be mad. I mean, it wasnt like we didnt get it done...like we werent prepared. When you lose 8-2 it means you didnt even show up. It means that you got distracted by something shiny in the locker room and never even made it to the bench.

Ugh....

Race

Two in one day...and so close to each other, who's the luckiest of all?!

I know this is way old news but I wanted to post a link to Obama's March Philly speech about race. Please take the time to read it. I caught part of it but not the whole thing.

Honestly, it is one of the best things I have read...as I was telling Q, it is as good as Haruki Murakami, as Orwell and Tolstoy (three of my favorite).

The link is here.

I promise you, it is so very worth your time.

B

Greetings Comrade!

Happy May Day to you reds out there.

Everyone else...



Get your self to a May Pole!

Unless of course you live in colorado and you woke up to this...



I just love spring in the rockies...

****
The Avs play Game 4 against the Red Wings tonight in Denver. How's the series going you ask?



If you dont know what that means...dont ask because I dont have the heart to discuss it further. GD avs...


~Peaches and Tweets
Bird

Powdered...Toast...Man!