31 December 2007

Another Year In The Can..

2007 wasnt too bad. Good things happened, bad things happened...all in all a decent one. I would even go so far as to say above average.

I am looking forward to 2008 if only because I like to write 8's. Some may say this is a silly reason and to them I would say, stfu and leave me be.

He who shall be unnamed is going to the winter classic tomorrow. Lucky...

What a fun event I hope the sabers win for my friend but I must say that I may root for the penguins just because of their sweet jersey...

Yes, that's right I would like a jersey shipped to my house...how thoughtful of you.

I kind of hate new years because I feel that there is so much pressure to do something, be somewhere, and make out with someone at the stroke of midnight (no wiener jokes Q). It is almost as bad as Valentines Day but at least on new years eve you dont need to explain why you got so drunk and wet yourself.

Last October i bought a Balloon Fiesta calendar while in NM for said event. It was the only bright spot in an otherwise shitty vacation and I am excited that tomorrow I will actually start using it. And by using it I mean sitting around when I am supposed to be working and looking at the nifty balloons. See...

"Why do you like hot air balloons so much Bird?" you might ask yourself. I dont know my friend, I dont know.

Happy happy new year to you all and drive safe or call a cab.

peaches and tweets...B

29 December 2007

Q & A with Munpe Q

Q and i just got back from the tattoo shop. Somebody got ink and it wasnt me. Neither of us feel like drinking or watching a movie so we came back to mess around with xmas gifts and watch some football. Go Giants!

You know what happens when birdy gets bored...

Random Blog!! Lucky Q...i decided to grill him and then post the answers.

(aside: has anyone else seen the pretentious hummer helps commercial? blech, i feel dirty just for watching it.)

Bird: What should be my first Question Munpe Q?
Munpe Q: That's an interesting thing you've asked. The first question in an interview style Q&A should be "what was your first reaction when the NHL came to you for a potential trade?"

B: Wouldnt i only ask that if you were an actual NHL player??
Q: Yes

B: Okay...Who do you like in the game tonight?
Q: I like the Pats. I think the combination route the Giants just tried to run provides an insight into their weaknesses.

B: Did you just make that up?
Q: Yeah why?

B: No reason...How was your xmas?
Q: It was in reverse, interestingly enough.

B: How's that?
Q: Instead of opening gifts traditionally, we actually had to wrap all our gifts, put them under the tree and then eventually return them to the store.

B: Are you saying you didnt like the shit I got you?
Q: The shit you got me, was indeed, shit.

B: I guess I kinda walked into that eh?
Q: Yes

B: What should I ask you?
Q: You already asked me that.

B: What do you think they are talking about in March on the NFL Network?
Q: I am going to sound like an idiot but I believe they are talking about math equations etc.

B: Like SAT/ACT prep?
Q: Sure.

B: Is it possible that this is the worst idea I have ever come up with for a blog?
Q: As, the subject matter, yes I believe you could have done better.

B: Sigh...this thing is done....

Fancy ink shots after the initial bleeding is done.


25 December 2007

Good Tidings & Whatnot...

As promised here is my happy festive holiday posting...

WTF? is the deal with all this snow?

The forecast called for "flurries" not 7 inches and temps of 10 degrees.

24 December 2007


Oscar Peterson Dies

A bummer indeed. I suppose I shall be supplanting White Christmas with Night Train this evening...

I promise to be back with a happy post sometime tomorrow...after gift opening but before getting sloshed on holiday spirits...

23 December 2007



I dont want to freak you guys out but tomorrow is Christmas Eve. Yeah, that's right, only one more shopping day left and...i havent received cards or gifts from most of you.

I am a little disappointed. I mean, you guys know I dont expect much but come on....not even a crappy holiday "newsletter."

You better get your act together or Santa will break into your house and take a crap on your tree skirt.


Tweet tweet goes the xmas bird

21 December 2007

InThis Season of Giving...

I am being a bitch.

Sorry...I promise to get my act together.


19 December 2007

Lunchtime Musings

Some of the stuff I say is funny. Some of it. However, sometimes writing said things out makes me giggle...

Farty McNeesh


18 December 2007


I am at Munpe Q's office. It is new and nice and he has the longest computer screen I have ever seen. it is like...9miles long. Like, schlong long...

Let me give you a list of things I like about Q's new job
+ 25 cent sodas!

That's it because, really i dont work here so things he likes about it are probably totally different then things i like...

Saw I Am Legend last night. I dont know what to say about it really. I guess, after all the previews etc, I was so very excited for it. Which is why I kinda felt let down after it was over but i have to ask myself, "Self," cause that's what I call myself, "Was that really a bad movie?" The answer is...no not at all...which is why i cant figure out what to say about it.

I can tell you that i had a dream that I was riding around in a Border Patrol Truck with Master Chief and we had to roll the windows up because of a virus. But he would need to pull over and as crazy people different strange and vague questions. It was unsettling Needless to say, I didnt sleep well.

I have lots-o-shopping to do. Serious shopping is needed for my rich uncle skeleton, Hercules Rockefeller. If you happen to know him and maybe also know what he wants could you please help me out? Sweet thanks.

Alright kiddos. I plan on using the remainder of my time reading my newest Haruki Murakami book, which i have had to ignore because i actually have work to do.

tweet tweet

12 December 2007

Tuba Sadness

Guess what I missed this year kiddies?

That's right, the strangest and most entertaining event of the holiday season...
Tuba Christmas.

Damn Texas and its warm weather! It lulled me into a state of unawares and I spaced it.

Oh how can I go on?!

Does anyone out there play the tuba and maybe is willing to come to my house and serenade me with xmas music? There's a cup of scalding hot cocco in it for ya...

11 December 2007

Give Me A Break...

I read this article today on ESPN...

"Descendant of Davy Crockett Kills Bear" Turns out some 5 year old shot a 445lb Black Bear with his grandfather. Bet they don't make precious moments for that eh?

If the story had been about the boy killing the bear with his hands, or maybe stumbling upon a bear eating his grandfather and then shooting it with his youth rifle, then maybe I would have been impressed. But here's how it went down:

"Tre Merritt, a descendant of Davy Crockett, was hunting with his grandfather Mike Merritt when a black bear happened upon their stand...'He came in about 40 to 50 yards,' Mike Merritt said of the black bear, 'and when he got in the open, I whistled at him and he stopped and I said, 'Shoot Tre.'"

How can you call this a "sport" when you can sit in a tree all damn day and wait for a bear to happen upon you while you shoot it from above? (wow...Ka-Boom) Doesn't it make you wonder if you can call it a fair fight when a five year old with a youth rifle can take down a 445 pound bear? I mean, this doesn't happened very often- but is it because it is hard to take down a bear or just that most people don't take their five year-olds out bear hunting? I am 99% sure that if I was sitting in a tree waiting for something/someone to stumble in front of my line of fire that I would be able to take it out too. That goes for Non as well...though he's no spring chicken anymore right, i mean-he is almost in third grade.


10 December 2007

Who's Your Daddy

I have already selected my candidate in the Democratic primary. However, recently he has been a bad boy posing with the likes of...


I know, i know, the O is a huge celebrity and could boost his numbers dramatically but i just want you to know that I liked him first!

The idea that I would possibly pick a candidate for president solely because some self-righteous-know-it-all told me to is just maddening.

While I want my guy to win, i hope that Oprah's star power has nothing to do with it. Honestly, wouldnt it be a sad world if the only thing that sways you one way or the other is who he's friends with?

07 December 2007

Can I be Frank?

I dont mind saying that now, back from Texas, I dont have any desire to actually deal with the data we gathered while down there. I am ready to shove it all in a folder and move on to something else....sadly, my boss has other ideas.

For those of you in love with the Texas Waffles you can buy your very own at www.texaswafflemaker.com. I am currently planning my own line of waffle makers tentatively named, "Waffles of the World." I swear to god if you steal my idea I will kill you and make waffles with your insides. Do Not fuck with me in this season of cheer and general merry-making.

I have to say, I am not tapping into the christmas feeling. I listened to some holiday music yesterday in an attempt to get into the spirit but only succeeded in getting Wonderful Christmastime stuck in my head. Oh McCartney, why do you curse me so?!

02 December 2007

01 December 2007

"The more I am, the less I know, And what I do is all too much"

It's been a long time since I have last wrote. Like many vacations I feel like I have things to say but am so unmotivated to share. Let's see....

a minor thanksgiving miracle occurred when i realized that the sweet baby jesus is bringing back American Gladiators.

I am in Texas. There are bugs and mice and opossum's and texas shaped waffles (sorry Q but I had to mention it).

Also, god willing there will be Killer Bee Hockey as well...

I suppose those are the highlights for now...