29 March 2006

You're Working Where?

I have a new job....as a librarian!

And, i get to go on vacation with the mister tomorrow.

And, i spent the last two days outside in the beautiful weather.

Could it get any better?

Love and Happiness,

27 March 2006

Airport Fun

Where is my rage?

Happy Cesar Chavez day to all you folks in Texas, Arizona and Colorado (the only three states that really recognize it). Have yourself some grapes and speak some espaƱol why dont ya?

Some quick updates, i have dropped back to second in my hockey league but I must say, am still really happy. Only a couple more weeks until the final results. Cheer on Satan for me will you? Not that satan, this one.

Also, while finally cleaning out my car I found my license. What a pain in the ass...

Sklimps returned from the airport yesterday and, like a good sister, i went to pick him up. Anyone who knows the Bird, knows that I love the airport-despite my unending hatred for the actual act of flying. If you need a ride to or from let me know and I will pick you up and all i will ask for is a lovely ~cheese~ gift from your destination. Anyway, when i pick someone up from the airport I like to park and go inside. It is easy enough to time it so that you only spend the $2 bucks for an hour of parking. Waiting for someone at the gate (or at DIA-that goofy piss inducing fountain) is the best.

The people watching at the aiport is the absolute cats meow (what the hey?). God, if I could I would just spend an afternoon watching people. Everyone is happy because they are on vacation, terribly sad because someone died, or annoyed because they are working and just trying to get to their job/return home. I spent most of my time watching two people while i was there yesterday. A man holding flowers waiting for someone. I was hoping to see them meet but I was distracted by a woman walking around the airport carrying 15 flower and heart shaped balloons (animal balloon style). She had a dog with her, i assume a seeing eye dog but she wasnt handicapped so I didnt get it. She was pacing back and forth, smacking people in the head with the balloons. It was good times.

Here is a photo I took while waiting.

And here at Baggage Claim #4
I have always wanted to ride one of these things...

My brother was telling me about his trip back. He said that they sent his carry-on through the x-ray machine three times at the SF airport. We couldnt figure out what the hell he had in there until he got home and pulled out this...

A frozen loaf of bread my sister told Sklimps to take with him. I am surprised that they didnt pull out the old rubber gloves if you know what I mean (and I think you do).

Alright...time to get out of here.

Have a great remaining monday and without knowing why wish me luck tomorrow.

~Tweet tweet

23 March 2006


I cant believe that I am first in my hockey league. I mean really, it makes me so happy after having languished in the last three spots in fantasy football.

Ahh...a nice ending to an almost perfect day.

They Say It's Your Birthday....

How strange is it that my mothers birthday is March 22nd and my fathers is the 23rd? They got married on the 22nd, most likely to make remembering the date easier. Just yesterday i blogged about my mothers birthday so I thought I would do the same for my father.

Now, many of you who have been reading my blog are somewhat familiar with my Father. If you havent read previous posts, do so here, here, and here.

Since you know him so well at this point I thought I would tell you a quick story about him. While my father and i have our issues, i must say that the old man has made my life more interesting.

My sister told me this story about pops. It is crazy similar to the time he tried to teach me to leap from a moving vehicle at the age of 7. SLD, who would have been 11 at the time, was riding in the front seat of the family car while three of my brothers and another sister were riding in the back. Dad told her that he felt like he was having a heart attack. Then, rather than pull over and stop the car, call for help, or head to the nearest hospital, he proceeds to tell her how to drive the manual vehicle if he should slump over at the wheel. "This is the clutch and this is the brake and this is the gas..." Needless to say SLD was more than a little frightened.

It turns out that my father was just fine. No heart attack, no slumping, just a flair for the dramatic. He is 71 today, and soon will be heading back to The Edge for the spring and summer.

You wont read this pops, but happy birthday.


A photo of my dad and some of his pals when I was just a kid.

21 March 2006


Something I found in my inbox this weekend. Highly amusing...

Jude morales

Morning noons painting

Butt crack panty nightmare


I love this stuff~


19 March 2006

Lift A Glass to My Friends' Passing

I lost one of my most bestest friends today. I tried to save her, restore her life but that only seemed to make it worse. There were moments when it seemed as if there was a spark; a glimmer of something behind her cold eyes.

It was not to be however. Now, all i am left with is a shell. A shell and a 300 dollar paperweight.

I hate you Steve Jobs for taking my friend.

17 March 2006

Such Much...

It has been so long, for a prolific blogger like me, and I have so much to share.

I had to get a new ID the other day. I sat at the DMV for 2.5 hours waiting for number 202. As I was reading my book, an older man sat down next to me. Graying hair and thin thin. I smile and next thing you know he is rocking and humming to himself. Well doesnt that just figure. I continue reading and notice he is reading over my shoulder. Man, one of these guys! Finally, they get to #199 so I close my book and await good old #202. The man next to me says, "You have a very pretty book there miss." "Why thank you, " I say, sounding confused. He runs his finger over the authors name, "Tolstoy..." and then bust out some kinda Russian Literature lecture on the difficulties of reading Tolstoy etc etc. Well slap my ass and call me Sally! It is kinda nice when looks can be deceiving.

After doing the whole photo, sign your name, you wanna be an organ donor thing I had to pee so bad that i risked a trip to the DMV toilet. It was scary and gross like i thought it would be, but the graffiti on the walls is what surprised me. I expected a lot of, "hell is like the dmv" kinda stuff. Instead as I hovered above the toilet i read a nice collection of political insights.

"I hate Bush. I dont hate him but he seems to be making mistakes. It doenst matter if you hate him or like him you have to vote to make a change. I think that the war in iraq is wrong. I think it is good."

And on and on and on. It was as good of a political discussion as I have heard in a while. There were some nuggets of truth and kindness in there, and not just the ones floating in the toilet.

All in all, not a bad trip to the DMV. At least it was interesting.


Happiest of all happy birthday wishes to my co-worker Thunderpussy. Toiling away in Farmington, she is braver then me. My reluctance to travel back to that town is, i believe, about to screw some of my satellite co-workers. I certainly didnt mean for that to happen. It is just a rumor right now but if it pans out, oh i do apologize. I owe you a beer when I see you next (oh Ely, I can hardly wait to hate you too).

Happy St. Patricks day to all. Read this article about the history of the holiday and amaze your friends while getting soused at your local bar.

Drive safe!

~Tweet tweet

13 March 2006

Sha na na na, sha na na na na...

"Sha na na na, sha na na na na,
Yip yip yip yip yip yip yip yip
Mum mum mum mum mum mum
Get a job..."

I must say my pretties..i am rather down and out. I just lost my brand new spiffy ID. The one I took a day off of work to stand in a three hour line at the DMV for. The picture looked okay and sakes alive if I am not going to have to go get another. Serious bummer. I have never lost a wallet or id in my entire life. Blech. It just seems to cap off the perfect monday of nothing going right.



My parents are divorced, like so many of you out there I imagine. One day, I was supposed to call my mom to plan a weekend with her. I had been spending time with my pals which meant that I had been cursing like a mo-fo. My mom never really knew I had a mouth. She would have been so upset, I mean, this is a woman who thinks fart is a dirty word. I remember my brother sklimps and i taunting her by saying "fart fart fart" over and over again. Anyway, I headed on over to the nearest pay phone, dropped in my two dimes and got her machine. Obviously still in friend mode I busted out the following message, "Hey mom, just calling to tell you what the fuck was going on...oh shit! Jesus Christ!" and i hung up.

Ohh...man I knew i was in trouble. The next day she called me back and didnt say a word, just "I got your message." I could tell she was making the "Im so disappointed in you" face over the phone. How isnt parents know that is the best form of punishment. I felt like an ass. Today, even as a adult (no snickering) i still try and temper the mouth around her. Sometimes I slip and blurt out "shit" and she will look at me and say "watch your language!" Ahh, moms.

So, there you go...a new blog to go along with my new paper temporary ID. I shall enthrall you all with DMV stories later. Something to look forward to.


08 March 2006

Brush With Crazy

Everyday in my life is a brush with crazy...

but today, today was different.

Mario and I were walking back from the Chipotle after lunch, headed back to the big ol' pie wedge. As we were staggering back, I noticed a nice looking older woman in front of us. She was still ~200 feet away when she kind of stopped and moved to the edge of the sidewalk. She was wearing a coat/poncho a hat, gloves, and a scarf. She looked pleasent, clean, and sober.

As mario and i draw closer she leans into our path and looks at me. "Have fun spying on Americans," she says, "I was watching you do it earlier." And with that, she passes us and continues walking.

Sure, there are crazy people everywhere but this lady looked normal. She looked like my history advisor in college. Sweet and nice. I spent 15min trying to figure out what i had done wrong.

I guess crazy comes in all kinds of skin.


06 March 2006

Back in Black

I have returned from Farmington and boy are my arms tired....ba dum dum-p-ching!

***chirp chirp***

See what New Mexico has done to me?

In addition to being very excited that I am at home, I filed my taxes and finally, after three years of taking it up the arse, i am getting something back.


Hope your monday is treating you well too...


01 March 2006

She'll Be Comin 'Round the Mountain When She Comes...

There is porn in my hotel room. Not just one channel, three channels. It wasnt there the night before last; three channels of porn isnt something you forget about.

I didnt watch much (really being alone and watching tons of porn in farmington is just sad) but i did see just enough to again wonder why all men in porns are ugly. Mullets and bad teeth. If they arent ugly they are all the same kind of "attractive." Men with no body hair, greased up, big chests and a short cropped hair cut. They make faces like WWF wrestlers while having sex. They are frat guys without their stripey button up shirts and they are the complete opposite of attractive to me. Where are the nerdy, somewhat geeky pornstars? Where is the Ed Norton of skin flicks?

The other exciting news is that Birdy is coming home to roost. Not really understanding the complete meaning of the phrase, I cant tell you if it is a good thing or a vaguely threatening thing. Either way it is happening...this friday and I must say, I can hardly wait.

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