30 May 2006

Such Much

For Christs Sake...it has been so long that I dont even know where to start.

First off, I have a new insurance agent and i am thinking that she is the best thing since sliced bread. I am almost hoping that I have to file a claim just so that I can get some genuine help from her. Well, maybe not but I must say, if you are in the market for a new insurance agent let me know and I can pass her information along.

Second off....that isnt right huh? Anyway, we are hiring at my library and I am sitting in on the interviews. This means that I get to read through all the applications and man, some of them are doozies. Check out the objective that one prospect included, "I am seeknig a position that fulfills my need to work hard towards tangible objectives" Wow...that is all i can say you know?

Third of all (that really isnt right) I am a poet and i didnt even know it. You dont believe me? Perhaps the folks at poetry.com can set you straight. Yes, go there my friends and type in my godgiven name and you shall see the beauty that is...

Deep Ellum

Indebongu must fire solo
Alas, the kalers will not
Reoh just pulled down
and the com will clot
Sar Casm removes the pain
and the clue is found
Papa is looking for seams
And bravo against the clamp
chew with your skull cave
while remaining silent

Wow...that is just breathtaking right? According to the papers i got from the folks over at poetry.com, my poem was selected on the basis of "my unique talent and artistic vision." They feel that I have "a special talent" and they look forward to the publication of my poem in Immortal Verses. Oh snap, a published poet! Yes friends, birdy is really stepping up in the world.

The best part about all this is that I get to submit an artists profile to be published along side my poem. My profile can include my "motivations, the meaning poetry has in my life, the story behind my poem, or my personal philosophical point of view." Wanna help me? Post a comment and I shall send it in. Did i mention i could buy the book? Yes, yes of course I forgot that little bit.

The best part of the poetry thing is that while looking through the aforementioned job applications I came upon one that was, honestly, one of the worst i have ever seen (this is coming from the fowl who saw a vita that mentioned how the writers' parents read him archaeology books in utero, thus, he was an excellent archaeologist). Not only was it cheezy (Skills: Literature) the applicant mentioned a couple of places that he had been published, one being Sacred Words or Timeless Memories or some craptastic publication from the folks at poetry.com Ahh, nothing like feeling shame for some poor schmuck.

And with that, i must go.

Peas to you all


17 May 2006

Goodnight Sweetheart Well It's Time to Go...ba dum ba dum...

I dont really have anything to say except that I cant sleep. I was so tired right after i got home but i watched a movie, did some other stuff, and tried to sleep but alas....nothing.

Sadly, for you readers out there, i have nothing to say either. Work, work is good. There is this crazy guy there who comes in almost every day. I call him Mr. Three Bags. He is on the computer the entire time, except for when he goes to the pay phone. He never puts money in, just pushes the buttons and proceeds to "leave messages" to guys like Ken Salazar. Talks about how, "you better listen to me" and "stop tampering with the internet." Something is about to break wide open it seems and this guy knows all about it. So, watch out everyone and dont say i didnt warn you.

Let see....

My father is coming into town. Lucky for me my brother and his wife and their kids as well as Sklimps and Q will be there to pry the butter knife out of my hand as I leap for his neck. I only have to get through one dinner with him and i plan to just drink a lot. So much that i am at that i love everyone stage. You know, the one right before you call all your ex's and leave drunk messages?


Why cant i sleep?! Blarg....

How bout some pictures i like? okay...

This is a photo of Mike the Headless Chicken

This is a photo of the book i am reading and the CD in my car right now...

Um, here is the shirt i am wearing as we speak

This is what i am hoping to be doing very very soon...

no wait...i meant this...

Okay...i am off now. Good night to you all!


10 May 2006

It Puts The Lotion In the Basket

Is that a bulge in your twine or are you just happy to see me?
What is the deal with the Avs? The second highest scoring team in the west is shut out for 6 1/2 periods only to give up three goals on stupid turnovers deep in their own zone?

I dont know, I guess I should be happy since i predicted them to fall apart against Dallas. How much is too much to expect from a team? That's the real question. Can you be happy that the Nuggets won their division, even though there were no other winning teams in the NW and even though they got spanked again in the first round? Can you be happy that the Broncos got to the AFC Championship game and then looked lost? Can you start celebrating since the Rockies are still 7 games above 500? If they still dont make the playoffs but dont come in dead last is that a good thing or just them finally doing what they should have been doing all along, fielding a competitive team?

Good questions that I am not nearly smart enough or stupid enough to answer...

Mano a mano
I was driving home from work this afternoon thinking about my hands. Someone once said to me, "your hands are so soft." I started feeling them up as i was in the car and i didnt think they felt especially soft. it got me to thinking, where are all these rough, cracked and dry handed women at? If my hands are something special because they are soft what the hell is wrong with the rest of the chicas out there. Are they not aware of this thing called lotion? May i recommend Kiss My Face or Burts Bees Milk and Honey Lotion, good stuff.

Sloppy kisses from the bird...

03 May 2006

Security Rage

I am feeling better...better then cat puke that is for sure. The avs moved into the second round of the post season, despite my prediction. I am happy, still a little stunned, but very happy. In addition, the Red Wings lost to the Oilers, ending their post season in the first round, again. Now, I am not like most avs fans that hate the red wings just for the sake of hating them. I like Detroit because they are a good team and games against them are always good. That being said, it is always nice when an 8 seed upsets the Presidents Trophy Winners. Check out the Avalanche Forum for more fun hockey talk.

Two Minutes Hate

Q and i were sitting down to a nice late dinner at La Cocinita, my favorite mexican place for the moment. This isnt some chic downtown joint, this is a dodgy building near my house. The seating is strange, the cleanliness is questionable, and the food is very good.

Sparkling conversation is happening (as is always the case when I am around yuk yuk) when we notice three guys wearing bad sport coats standing near the door to the patio. They look completely out of place. I was thinking that at first they were bad politicians trying to eat at an authentic mexican place because of the rally that just happened. Then, Q notices that they are wearing ear pieces and seem to be talking into their sleeves. Security?! Awesome! That must mean someone "special" is near by!

They checked out the place, the bathroom, the kitchen...then went outside. Q saw some people head out that way but didnt see anyone he could put a name to. We ate our meals when they came, and continued to notice 6 different guys coming in and getting food to take outside. Obviously carying guns, looking like dweebs. How strange...at least 6 different security guys? Whoo hoo must be someone very special.

With six guys walking around you would think they would have noticed the kid wearing a SNIPER tshirt. SNIPER...DONT TRY TO RUN, YOU WILL JUST DIE TIRED. Nice shirt kid.

Q and i eat, pay our bill and head outside. I glance over on the patio and recognize no one. Hmm...strange. And out in the parking lot, just standing around chatting were our 6 security guys, plus 3 others. Adding those 9 to the three eating on the patio and you get...12

12 fucking guys with guns and ear pieces, one drinking a yoohoo and one talking on his cell phone! I tried to get Q to run them over just to see what would happen but he wasnt biting.

Seriously, you unnamed diner. Get a grip on yourself. Does the Prez even walk around with 12 gun-toting yoohoo drinkers?

happy wednesday