Felt restless for various reasons tonight so i was perusing journals. Stumbled upon this from January 2nd, 2005.
From Uberto Eco's Foucalt's Pendulum:
"You spend your life seeking the opportunity, without realizing that the decisive moment that justifies birth and death has already passed. It will not return but it was-full, dazzling, generous as every revelation.
That day, Jacopo Belbo stared into the eyes of Truth. The only truth that was to be granted him.
The Pendulum, which haunted Jacopo Belbo all his adult life, had been-like the last address of his dream- the symbol of that other moment, recorded and the repressed, when he truly touched the ceiling of the world.
Jacopo Belbo didn't understand that he had had his moment and that it would have to be good enough for him, for all his life. Not recognizing it, he spent the rest of his days seeking something else, until he damned himself. But perhaps he suspected this. Otherwise he wouldn't have returned so often to the memory of the trumpet (object of desire). But he remembered it as a thing lost, not as a thing possessed."
The Object of Desire-The Opportunity-The Moment-The Truth "a thing lost-not a thing possessed." And so begins a new year...seeing the truth and knowing that it was possessed by me.
2005 turned out to be a good year for me.