26 August 2005

'Cane Rage

One thing that I love about sports are fantasy leagues. Putting together your team, crying because that one guy seems to draft first every year, complaining about Fred Taylor's groin...again.

Every year I am in a Football League, Sunday Bloody Sunday, with my brothers and friends. Every year i do a bit better and then get toasted in the playoffs. I feel like I am going to make a run for it this season.

I also decided to join a Hockey League. I was weary but the commish set it up so that there is one sub day a week rather then trying to check stats on every game each night. I am looking forward to it since I have always felt more comfortable with hockey then football. We are still adding teams and if you want to go head-to-head with the Bird and get your ass handed to you, please sign up and join us.

It is free so visit:
The ID is: 18702
The Password is: fantasy

Two Minutes Hate
I love that hurricanes are given names. I wish all natural disasters lended themselves to this. There is nothing quite so dramatic and cheesy and wonderful as being outside your demolished house and raising your fist to the sky, "Damn you Hugo!!!"

So, I harbor a not so secret desire to have a hurricane named after me. That, in itself, isnt strange. However, I want my hurricane to leave a path of destruction never before seen in this country. I want to not only kill hundreds but ravage the land--wipe it clean and raw. I want a helpless orange farmer to look upon his orchard-upturned trees-the sickly sweet smell of crushed citrus in the air and scream, "Damn you Bird!"

I was talking about this over drinks with my friends Augustine of Hippo and peeps. We decided that Bird wont be used anytime soon, But there was still a chance for my given name to be slapped on a class 5 hurricane. Peeps sent over a link this morning that gave me a chill.

2009....oh yes, my very own hurricane! If you live on the east coast, consider yourself warned.

Peeps also sent over a link to retired hurricane names. According to the National Hurricane Center a name is retired "if a storm is so deadly or costly that the future use of its name on a different storm would be inappropriate for obvious reasons of sensitivity. If that occurs, then at an annual meeting by the committee (called primarily to discuss many other issues) the offending name is stricken from the list and another name is selected to replace it." I think what i like best is that they wanted you to know that the committee doesnt just meet to select names...they do other scientific stuff as well. Sound a bit touchy to me.

Perusing the list we see Hurricane Bob, retired in 1991. Bob seems like the kind of storm that would lumber in, sleep on the couch and get potato chips in his fat rolls. Just an annoying hurricane that wouldnt leave...and before he did go he would hit on your wife.

I hope you all find your name on the list of upcoming hurricanes. If not, pick your favorite and root it on when the time rolls around!



Anonymous said...

This blog is really neat. The only thing I don't like are all these nicknames. Come on, who do you have to protect? Real names make things better. Take it from me, Anonymous Jones.

Anonymous said...

2010 - A Hurricane Odyssey - Go Hurricane MATTHEW!!!

Anonymous said...

aw, poor bob. i liked how, when they retired the name "bob," they replaced it with "bill." just bill, your average lazy hurricane.

bob tried to kill me by throwing sheet metal roof panels at me while i was minding my own business, walking down the shore. the hell? damn you, bob!