14 September 2005

I Almost Died Yesterday

Once, i was traveling from Stinktown to Denver with a good friend of mine, Cracker. She was driving. I had been debating telling her a big secret about a mutual friend of ours and decided to spill the beans. So, i turn to her...."Cracker, I have something to tell you. I slept with the reverend last week, on accident." This was shocking news...so shocking that she swerved off the road almost killing us both. We had to stop the car, get out and take a few deep breaths. Scary stuff; sex with the reverend and the near fatality. (as an aside...the reverend is an actual reverend now. He was a huge slut in college...)

Yesterday I am in rush hour traffic with my friend Thunderpussy. We are discussing sex stuff and she says, about messing around while on your period, "we call that fingerpainting." Needless to say, i was so surprised that i nearly slammed into the car in front of us. I laughed so hard and the near accident made me laugh even harder. Fingerpainting...it isnt nearly as gross as felching or snowballing but good lord it makes for vivid imagery.

Happy Hump Day to you all...
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