12 December 2005

Poppin' Bird's Cherry

Yikes, i grossed myself out with that one.

I am coming off a weekend filled with things I have never done before. I thought it would be interesting to share two bits of it with you.

I began by eating a burger as big as my face. No shit...i held it up to my face to check it out. The buns on this thing were freakin HUGE. I mean, are those special order buns or what? And what it gods name would the point of a burger as big as your face be? Aren't americans fat enough?

By the by...i finished it and it was yummy.

After the burger i thought to myself..."What's a good compliment to eating a face-sized burger?" Shooting a weapon of course!

So i headed over to the shooting range to unleash my rage on a tiny silhouette man. I was firing this weapon.

I must say, i was nervous. Even though my father and brothers had gone hunting, I never went. I never tagged along when they went to the boonies to shoot cans and the whatnot.

The range was an interesting mix of men who were obviously crazy with the power that guns give you and nice gentlemen who had been hunters and military men when they were younger. While standing at the assigned stall I realized that if one of the people at the range wanted to kill me dead that I was easy pickens. Really, any yahoo can rent a gun for 10 bucks!

While loading my clip (ohhh...i sound so gun-tastic I know) the man three stalls down began firing what sounded like a cannon. Seriously...it was so god damn loud it made me jump every time he fired. My pal went first...nice grouping but a bit of a pull to the left...and then it was my turn. I was so nervous, thinking about what my mother used to say when i would horseplay in the house "You could kill someone!" But this time...i really could have turned and killed my friend and the cannon man and even that one chick who was really too excited about it all.

Ohh...deep breaths. Trying to relax and stop my shaking hands. I went through all the things my friend had told me before we left for the range. slide clip in hard, always pointing down range, finger off trigger, right thumb under slide release/lock, right thumb comes up and releases saftey, deep breath, left thumb cocks gun when ready. whoooo......breathe breathe, when ready-finger on trigger...deep breath....POP. There goes your cherry.

How'd I do? Not too bad. Of the nine that hit the poor silhouette man, 1 hit dead center (take that you dirty bastard!), 3 in the 9 ring, 4 in the 8 ring and 1 in the 7 ring.

Even if I never go again, I can say this...it was a very interesting and eye opening experience. Something I think you have to try before you can poopoo the idea....im lookin right in the mirror when i say that!

All in all an interesting weekend that will stay with me for a long time (did I mention the burger was as big as my FACE??)


deadpanann said...

Hey. I'm 27, angry, and started my blog the same month you started this one. I am not a bird, though I once dated a man who wished he was a penguin. None of this was the point. I just wanted to say I like your blog.


Brazen in Boulder said...

I'm glad you had a good time at your first shoot!

But call me next time!

PS: You missed some good free ice skating Sunday. When you coming over to drive the Zamboni?

Bird said...

I had a good time, even though i was really nervous. I was gonna call but decided against it just in case i ended up crying like a baby. I would hate to cry in front of you!! Next time...

Shooter Bird