26 March 2007

This is Your Bird on Drugs

I think I have accidentally taken steroids. Certainly I have ingested some kind of illegal substance.

See, I have been craving fruit for months and months. Sadly, it being winter, there is a lack of good fruit at the stores. Everytime I see "fruit cup" on the menu i get excited until I remember that it is just going to be some melon and bad pineapple and grapes.

So, today as I was heading for work I remembered that there was a smoothie king nearby. I had never been before but I thought it would be nice and maybe satisfy my fruit craving, if only for a while.

I walk in and am assaulted by tubs of shake mixes and supplements. Did I accidentally walk into a GNC? Seriously, it was out of control. I would have just left but it was one of those awkward moments where you are the only person in the store and the counter guy was looking at me, waiting. I had to order something.

I browsed through the menu thinking, "no i dont want a carb supplement. Um...what the fuck is that?" I ended up getting a drink that sounded the least like the Cream and the Clear.

If i start growing chest hair and my boobs shrink I am gonna be so pissed.


Hercules Rockefeller said...

You've never been to a Jamba Juice?

It's the excact same idiotic nonsense, protien boost, immunity boost, vita boost, cocaine boost. Wait, I don't think last one is real.

Bird said...

Yes my rich uncle skeleton, I have been to Jamba Juice. Did I ever tell you I saw Stephen Yelle at the Jamba and we both ordered a Razzmatazz?! But that is neither here nor there...

Jamba allows you to put a "boost" of some kind of crazy supplement in your juice but the smoothie king adds the supplements to your juice no matter what. I think mine had tourmaline or something crazy (haha, yes I know what tourmaline is y'all [no one but Q got that I think]). Anyway, the king is much more GNC-y then the Juice...and thus, much scarier.