Late Night Television

Channel 13-There is a whole freaking infomercial about colon cleansing. One guy looks like a greaser vampire and the other has a pube beard. How many bowel movements do you have a day? If it isnt eat-shit eat-shit eat-shit then according to Klee Irwin you need to clean out that colon baby! 1800-532-7017

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Channel 16-Old people dancing

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Channel 28-Nonstop Fresh Prince. Will Smith is wearing a neon green muscle shirt.

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Channel 30-Roadrunner bashing a rattlesnake against rocks over and over again. Who would have thought that a roadrunner was that tough.

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Channel 35-Nascar. *shudder*

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Channel 37-Nancy Grace exploits missing children for face time. I think she is holding Caylee Anthony so that she has something to talk about. Nancy Grace is the worst of the worst. I have so much sympathy for someone who's daughter, granddaughter etc. is missing or abused or murdered, but Nancy Grace, from her studio has made a decision as to whom is guilty. She has already judged the case and has determined who is to blame. Does she really think that calling Caylee's mother "Tot Mom" is some how helping the situation? Who knows what happened or if Caylee is alive. For Nancy Grace to exploit this shit is disgusting. "Oh i pray, pray for these people." Ugh..

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Channel 48-SciFi productions are some of the worst programs on television. I assume, since they are still around, that someone is watching this shite but I cant imagine who. Dont confess you are one of them readers because I would have to shun you and I am kinda partial to you all.

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Channel 52-Matlock! He is dressed like Colonel Sanders. "I saw Matlock in a bar last night; the sound was off, but I think I got the gist of it."

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Channel 61-The real housewives of atlanta. Oh my god. How come rich people like stupid vapid spouses? This is my first time watching it. Some of the women are actually "normal" for super rich ladies but others...oh others are insane. Kim who smokes a pack a day thinks she can sing. She's gonna be a country singer (please add a twang when you read this). Goddamn i wish I had an unlimited amount of money so I could just pursue random ideas that pop into my head. I could start the poke check and open a book store and write books and travel and most likely fail at them all. As long as no one makes me tape it then I am okay.

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Channel 62-Celtic Christmas on QVC. What's first up? Xmas Guinness glasses, of course. No not really, teapots and watches. Because nothing says Irish like simulated pearl.

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Channel 64-Fucking Omen. Jesus christ that is scary. Turn it, turn it!

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Channel 66-Music videos. I am still surprised that anyone even makes music videos anymore. I have only seen VH1 showing them and even then, only at 2am.

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Channel 72-Futurama! Yay. I know some people dont like Futurama as much as the Simpsons and i think that is a no brainer in early simpsons years. However, the simpsons have gotten crapier as the seasons have wore on. Anyway, i like myself some futurama. Did you know that Philip J. Fry was named so in memory of Phil Hartman and that Zapp Brannigan was developed for Hartman? Yes it is true. "Tell them I hate them."

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Channel 78-Little House On the Prairie, the episode where Highway to Heaven guy makes his daughters feel like shite because he finally has a son! It's a wonder he didnt drown his daughters in a gunny sack the moment he saw their hoo hoos. I never watched this show so who cares right?

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Channel 81-Clouds. No shit. Just clouds.

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Channel 98-CSPAN...i think I am ready for bed...

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Channel 103-www.yourbabycanread.tv That is all I am going to say....except this. Your little butter face isnt anything special.

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Channel 110-I want the Time Life Sound of the Oldies or whatever the fuck it is called. Why are these things so freaking expensive. 5 payments of 30 bucks my ass. Sigh, how come i have this insane love of 50's and 60's music? Why god why?!!

*click*...and that brings us back to where we have begun.

I am hoping that the meds will have kicked in and that sleep lies at the top of the stairs...


~sweet dreams and sorry for the poor grammar and punctuation~
Bird